Mata

my dad was persistent. he told me to talk to my cousin. said she wanted to give me some words. some warnings.

i was never really interested to hear her. she is my cousin and the idea of her knowing my inner thoughts or my future is freaky. besides, we were really not close.

but dad called me while i was busy with my report. it was weird because we never really talk about serious stuff. all the things that my cousin told him, he shared it with me. proud. perfectionist. that is how i am he said and from their observation, it is true that i am like that picture of a hard to please person.

i listened. never bothered to defend myself. it is out in the open. what more can i say? might as well give acceptance a chance. and from that sales talk, i finally obliged to communicate with my cousin.

the chat was uplifting. focusing on life's experiences. it was good. just good.

i will stop it from here. i have to hold on to my own beliefs and judgment. i hope my parents will do the same. she may see the future or the situation from a different side but i believe God controls everything.

He sees everything. He sees our financial troubles. my constant senseless thoughts regarding my career path. my insecurities. my inadequacies. His eyes are on me...

Gayuma

it started with the end of my cousin's marriage.

lost, she started to look for answers. as culture would have it, "gayuma" might be a possibility. but to confirm is like a mountain that is unreachable. out of nowhere, jonah came to the rescue. how could we forget that her older sister who used to worked with us, was treated by her uncle?

that uncle of jonah had some answers.

so from there, it was like light was coming out in a room that is full of darkness. my sister sought for answers as well but she was stubborn and would not let go of her ex-boyfriend. it was at that moment when jonah's uncle saw me. my suffering. the pressure from my parents. my short temper. my worries. all that i try to keep by myself were all exposed.

and i listened. i took some advice. i obeyed with his instructions which were mostly about praying and having faith. of changing attitudes and being positive. even to this day, i have asked for his guidance.

then came the bigger search for answer: why our family, the whole side of my dad's family, unable to reach success. apparently, there is this relative who instead of praying for us, is heaping curses. how did he know? i really don't know also. maybe in his dreams or in a different state, he was able to see the cousin of my dad who is based in singapore!

at this time, i am not trying to convince you to believe but thing is, there are some things that made me shiver for he was able to know intimated details of our family!

he was able to know that my dad brought something for my grandfather but nothing for my grandmother. that a cousin of mine was adopted and many other things. and so my relatives listened and gave it a thought. prayed together as a family as he instructed as to do.

but it was getting complicated from here. one of my aunts told my cousin who is based in paris. she was furious and apparently, had her third eye opened. a form of mental or psychic confrontation happened. as a result, my cousin started to talk to each and every one of us to give warning and most of all, advice.

to be continued....