so dlsu lady spikers and feu spikers both lost to ust. me and my teams on the losing end.
but not totally.
this i have to say: feu took the men's football title against who? ust. how about this? dlsu lady booters beating ust in the women's football championships.
not to mention an feu-nrmf graduate topping the medical board exam.
did i actually remember my high school classmate (now a graduating ust med. student) who did not pass u.p. and dlsu entrance exams say that in the philippines, only up, ust and plm are the reputable ones?
now take this: suck it all bitches!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Affirmation
i though i had punished myself yesterday.
after all, it was the first day of the three-day sale at sm pampanga. when i speak of sale in the context of kapampangans, it is crazy.
trust me. known for being "galante," i would say many of kapampangans are really spendthrift. just imagine now the congestion the mall could get at these times.
the purpose was really to buy a new luggage for me. old one is still functional but it can get a little bit uneasy as i had to contend its duality as a luggage and a mere duffel bag.
in my mind, i would want to spend more on the jacket i will have to wear. i want it fashionable but of good quality. i want those i see from gq or details. perfect fit and perfect style.
since i was not paying, i obliged to their suggestion. paying it was really an affirmation that all things will work together for my good.
now that is faith.
after all, it was the first day of the three-day sale at sm pampanga. when i speak of sale in the context of kapampangans, it is crazy.
trust me. known for being "galante," i would say many of kapampangans are really spendthrift. just imagine now the congestion the mall could get at these times.
the purpose was really to buy a new luggage for me. old one is still functional but it can get a little bit uneasy as i had to contend its duality as a luggage and a mere duffel bag.
in my mind, i would want to spend more on the jacket i will have to wear. i want it fashionable but of good quality. i want those i see from gq or details. perfect fit and perfect style.
since i was not paying, i obliged to their suggestion. paying it was really an affirmation that all things will work together for my good.
now that is faith.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Split Emotions
have you ever felt that feeling of being overwhelmed with so much joy but at the same time you are so afraid that it won't last that long?
i did and it was just yesterday.
i felt weird actually. while waiting for my number to be called at the counter, i felt my lacrimal glands swelling up. but i had to stop there.
the joy of watching the tv presentation of what is there in u.k. was just too much for me as i realized i am so close to finally coming there.
wimbledon, football games at the manchester stadium, visiting the national park shown in p.s. i love you, london pubs, topman clothes, eye of london, having to study there in the future and a lot more.
however, i had to pinch and remind myself that i still had to arrange some things.
that would include the approval of my visa and the reference forms from egypt to be received by the nmc.
at least, i had to console myself by getting a copy of the promotional booklet of britain's travel guide.
i did and it was just yesterday.
i felt weird actually. while waiting for my number to be called at the counter, i felt my lacrimal glands swelling up. but i had to stop there.
the joy of watching the tv presentation of what is there in u.k. was just too much for me as i realized i am so close to finally coming there.
wimbledon, football games at the manchester stadium, visiting the national park shown in p.s. i love you, london pubs, topman clothes, eye of london, having to study there in the future and a lot more.
however, i had to pinch and remind myself that i still had to arrange some things.
that would include the approval of my visa and the reference forms from egypt to be received by the nmc.
at least, i had to console myself by getting a copy of the promotional booklet of britain's travel guide.
Punishment in Exchange for Positive Results
yesterday was totally a different day.
first, there is the pressure of having to go through the visa application center. second, that pressure made me want to piss like every thirty minutes. third, my shoes were killing my feet.
tuesday, at the office. ms. teena is an obsessive compulsive person like me! she had to check every detail of the documents and even had to arrange them in the exact manner as written in the checklist. now i am confident.
me, as the usual o.c., failed to deliver that day. i forgot to photocopy some documents and i kept on forgetting some minor details. good thing ms. teena was there to remind me always.
i also went to St. Clare after all documents were properly arranged and corrected. guidance is what i asked for. St. Clare has been my patron saint since high school.
come yesterday, those three things made my day different.
the pressure was always there. scared of what to expect and afraid of committing errors, i was so damn nervous and pressured to deliver. this lead me to the second thing- having to relieve myself every thirty minutes or so!
take for example the first fucking experience with me pissing in the most unfortunate time. i had to take off at paramount for me to be able to catch the mrt at the north avenue station. riding the bus from pampanga to paramount, the bus was cold so it had to bulk up the fluids accumulating in my bladder.
at north avenue station, i had to search for comfort rooms but alas, most establishments were still closed as it was too early!
yes urinals my friends. the solution depended on these quite filthy and smelly pink now green mmda urinals.
(from bulatlat.com)
the thought was just quite unacceptable for me. pissing in those things with all people passing beside me? no.
but then again, i am just a human with physiologic needs. i had to satisfy them first before i ca be self-actualized.
so i did it after making sure there were only few people passing. it was heaven at its finest! the comfort of having to rest your bladder was simply nirvana.
but nirvana was just short as my shoes started to eat my toes. i had to take all the beating as i want to look good while applying my visa.
(from askmen.com)
i just hope i get positive results. i had to swallow my pride in using those mmda urinals and i had to punish my toes with my shoes. not to mention the palpitations i felt while waiting for my turn to be called at the visa center.
the things you would do just to achieve something...maddening. amazing. entertaining.
first, there is the pressure of having to go through the visa application center. second, that pressure made me want to piss like every thirty minutes. third, my shoes were killing my feet.
tuesday, at the office. ms. teena is an obsessive compulsive person like me! she had to check every detail of the documents and even had to arrange them in the exact manner as written in the checklist. now i am confident.
me, as the usual o.c., failed to deliver that day. i forgot to photocopy some documents and i kept on forgetting some minor details. good thing ms. teena was there to remind me always.
i also went to St. Clare after all documents were properly arranged and corrected. guidance is what i asked for. St. Clare has been my patron saint since high school.
come yesterday, those three things made my day different.
the pressure was always there. scared of what to expect and afraid of committing errors, i was so damn nervous and pressured to deliver. this lead me to the second thing- having to relieve myself every thirty minutes or so!
take for example the first fucking experience with me pissing in the most unfortunate time. i had to take off at paramount for me to be able to catch the mrt at the north avenue station. riding the bus from pampanga to paramount, the bus was cold so it had to bulk up the fluids accumulating in my bladder.
at north avenue station, i had to search for comfort rooms but alas, most establishments were still closed as it was too early!
yes urinals my friends. the solution depended on these quite filthy and smelly pink now green mmda urinals.
(from bulatlat.com)
the thought was just quite unacceptable for me. pissing in those things with all people passing beside me? no.
but then again, i am just a human with physiologic needs. i had to satisfy them first before i ca be self-actualized.
so i did it after making sure there were only few people passing. it was heaven at its finest! the comfort of having to rest your bladder was simply nirvana.
but nirvana was just short as my shoes started to eat my toes. i had to take all the beating as i want to look good while applying my visa.
(from askmen.com)
i just hope i get positive results. i had to swallow my pride in using those mmda urinals and i had to punish my toes with my shoes. not to mention the palpitations i felt while waiting for my turn to be called at the visa center.
the things you would do just to achieve something...maddening. amazing. entertaining.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Why Complain?
i can't complain right now.
kahit pa pagod na pagod ako sa kakaluwas sa manila to arrange for my visa o kahit pa up to this time, hindi pa nasesend ang reference letters ko na manggagaling sa egypt. kahit pa na before march 21, natanggap ko na dapat ang decision letter from u.k. kahit na feb. 24 na ngayon at tatakbuhin ng more than 20 days ang hihintayin bago matanggap ang mga sulat galing ng u.k.
isipin mo hindi pa naipapadala ang mga reference letters pero dapat may decision na bago mar. 21 at kailangan ko ding matanggap yun ng less than 20 days.
i really can't complain.
kahit magmakaawa nako sa mga housemates ko dati na ipadala na nila ung sulat. kahit kabadong kabado ako sa paghihintay ng result ng visa application ko.
another test and another chance to redeem myself. ilang beses na nga ba? sampo? isang daan? basta. hindi ko na matandaan pero ang alam ko, ang lahat ay umayon sa Kanyang plano at sa aking kabutihan.
so why complain now?
kahit pa pagod na pagod ako sa kakaluwas sa manila to arrange for my visa o kahit pa up to this time, hindi pa nasesend ang reference letters ko na manggagaling sa egypt. kahit pa na before march 21, natanggap ko na dapat ang decision letter from u.k. kahit na feb. 24 na ngayon at tatakbuhin ng more than 20 days ang hihintayin bago matanggap ang mga sulat galing ng u.k.
isipin mo hindi pa naipapadala ang mga reference letters pero dapat may decision na bago mar. 21 at kailangan ko ding matanggap yun ng less than 20 days.
i really can't complain.
kahit magmakaawa nako sa mga housemates ko dati na ipadala na nila ung sulat. kahit kabadong kabado ako sa paghihintay ng result ng visa application ko.
another test and another chance to redeem myself. ilang beses na nga ba? sampo? isang daan? basta. hindi ko na matandaan pero ang alam ko, ang lahat ay umayon sa Kanyang plano at sa aking kabutihan.
so why complain now?
Monday, February 22, 2010
Anxious
tuloy na tuloy ang pagiging dakilang private nurse ko. as of kanina, naging abala ako sa paglilinis ng sugat ng aking lola at pagmonitor sa bp ng isang kapitbahay.
kahit puyat sa napakaagang church service namen, tumuloy pa rin ako sa mga pasyente ko. aaminin ko, masarap din ung pakiramdam na nakakatulong ka dahil sa pagkakatanda ko ng ako ay maging nurse, ngayon pa lang talaga ako nagreach out sa mga taong nasa paligid ko.
maging busy man ako this week, naisip ko na okay lang kasi sobra naman ang blessings ni God saken. may appointment na kasi ako sa visa application center. kabado dahil baka magka-aberya pero i do trust Him.
nasasabik ako na kinakabahan na nalulungkot na natutuwa na natatakot. sobrang kakaiba ung nararamdaman ko.
i hope everything will run smoothly...
kahit puyat sa napakaagang church service namen, tumuloy pa rin ako sa mga pasyente ko. aaminin ko, masarap din ung pakiramdam na nakakatulong ka dahil sa pagkakatanda ko ng ako ay maging nurse, ngayon pa lang talaga ako nagreach out sa mga taong nasa paligid ko.
maging busy man ako this week, naisip ko na okay lang kasi sobra naman ang blessings ni God saken. may appointment na kasi ako sa visa application center. kabado dahil baka magka-aberya pero i do trust Him.
nasasabik ako na kinakabahan na nalulungkot na natutuwa na natatakot. sobrang kakaiba ung nararamdaman ko.
i hope everything will run smoothly...
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Utakan Lang
tigilan mo ko!
sumosobra ka na! kung anu-anong ideya ang pinapakain mo sa aking marupok na kalagayan.
dapat akong maging masaya. at ngayon, dapat mas magkaron ng tiwala.
**************************************
asar ako sa isip ko. masyadong mapanglinlang ang aking mga diwa na nagpapahina ng aking paniniwala at pananampalataya.
minsan, mas masarap ang walang alam sa katotohanan o sa nagpapanggap na totoo.
sumosobra ka na! kung anu-anong ideya ang pinapakain mo sa aking marupok na kalagayan.
dapat akong maging masaya. at ngayon, dapat mas magkaron ng tiwala.
**************************************
asar ako sa isip ko. masyadong mapanglinlang ang aking mga diwa na nagpapahina ng aking paniniwala at pananampalataya.
minsan, mas masarap ang walang alam sa katotohanan o sa nagpapanggap na totoo.
Crazy Surprise
this is crazy.
this morning, i just called the office and they told me that i will have to process my visa asap! my flight is on march 22 and i need to fix all documents as soon as i can.
isn't it crazy?
from my previous post, i was really down with all the things around me but then, God surprised me this one.
right now, i do not know what to do first. there's a lot to process and i am just having information overload. however, i could get used to this worthy piles of work.
**********************************
dear God,
i just want to thank You. thank You for this great news that has kept me thinking all day long. i really did not expect it. You really have a sense of humor! i just pray my Father that You will guide me as i make my application for the visa. grant positive response to it as well as my application to the NMC.
forgive me Lord for not telling it to my parents. i just want things to run smoothly and i do not want them to be pressured with all the things that i have to deal with.
You know and hold my future so i will fully entrust my life to Your Hands. thank You my Father and my Friend...
Amen.
this morning, i just called the office and they told me that i will have to process my visa asap! my flight is on march 22 and i need to fix all documents as soon as i can.
isn't it crazy?
from my previous post, i was really down with all the things around me but then, God surprised me this one.
right now, i do not know what to do first. there's a lot to process and i am just having information overload. however, i could get used to this worthy piles of work.
**********************************
dear God,
i just want to thank You. thank You for this great news that has kept me thinking all day long. i really did not expect it. You really have a sense of humor! i just pray my Father that You will guide me as i make my application for the visa. grant positive response to it as well as my application to the NMC.
forgive me Lord for not telling it to my parents. i just want things to run smoothly and i do not want them to be pressured with all the things that i have to deal with.
You know and hold my future so i will fully entrust my life to Your Hands. thank You my Father and my Friend...
Amen.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Too Much
i am beginning to think too much that i end up hurting my faith and my ego to the point of crumbling... what shall i do?
**************************************
Secrets
One Republic
I need another story
Something to get off my chest
My life gets kinda boring
Need something that I can confess
'Til all my sleeves are stained red
From all the truth that I've said
Come by it honestly I swear
Thought you saw me wink, no
I've been on the brink, so
Tell me what you want to hear
Something that will light those ears
Sick of all the insinceres
I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away
My God, amazing how we got this far
It's like we're chasing all those stars
Who's driving shiny big black cars
And everyday I see the news
All the problems that we could solve
And when a situation rises
Just write it into an album
Singing straight, too cold
I don't really like my flow, no, so
Tell me what you want to hear
Something that will light those ears
Sick of all the insinceres
I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away
Oh, got no reason, got not shame
Got no family I can blame
Just don't let me disappear
I'm 'a tell you everything
So tell me what you want to hear
Something that will light those ears
Sick of all the insinceres
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away
So tell me what you want to hear
Something that will light those ears
Sick of all the insinceres
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away
All my secrets away, all my secrets away
**************************************
Secrets
One Republic
I need another story
Something to get off my chest
My life gets kinda boring
Need something that I can confess
'Til all my sleeves are stained red
From all the truth that I've said
Come by it honestly I swear
Thought you saw me wink, no
I've been on the brink, so
Tell me what you want to hear
Something that will light those ears
Sick of all the insinceres
I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away
My God, amazing how we got this far
It's like we're chasing all those stars
Who's driving shiny big black cars
And everyday I see the news
All the problems that we could solve
And when a situation rises
Just write it into an album
Singing straight, too cold
I don't really like my flow, no, so
Tell me what you want to hear
Something that will light those ears
Sick of all the insinceres
I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away
Oh, got no reason, got not shame
Got no family I can blame
Just don't let me disappear
I'm 'a tell you everything
So tell me what you want to hear
Something that will light those ears
Sick of all the insinceres
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away
So tell me what you want to hear
Something that will light those ears
Sick of all the insinceres
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away
All my secrets away, all my secrets away
Shame
maybe my being away from the hospital scene has given me some nerves. really, i hate myself now.
coming home from my stay in the hospital with my grandma, i kinda had a bad feeling about myself. i do not know where it stems from but i dread it.
have you ever felt that nagging feeling that you are not that good?
i have always had that. that thing which pierces through my conscious effort to help other people. some would say that at my level, i should be confident. but, i am just having difficulty amidst my awards in college and past experience.
washing my face as if in attempt to wash away that feeling, i know i should be happy. to see our neighbor now in the same hospital as with my grandma and somehow being able to take part in her care, i should be at least proud of myself.
coming home from my stay in the hospital with my grandma, i kinda had a bad feeling about myself. i do not know where it stems from but i dread it.
have you ever felt that nagging feeling that you are not that good?
i have always had that. that thing which pierces through my conscious effort to help other people. some would say that at my level, i should be confident. but, i am just having difficulty amidst my awards in college and past experience.
washing my face as if in attempt to wash away that feeling, i know i should be happy. to see our neighbor now in the same hospital as with my grandma and somehow being able to take part in her care, i should be at least proud of myself.
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