Some Issues

for your daily dose of some lovin' brothers. like the jedward twins.



the twins are already done with college. after a month, there is not a trace of them wanting to grow up and own the challenge of their situation. everyday, they will wake up at around 9-10:00 am and would wait to be asked by our maid to eat their breakfast. if they wake up early, it is because of them surfing the net or a basketball game is on.

this, has persisted for a month now.

my mom is going crazy and would transform into her normal monster-like self in a few days. no once could talk to them. not even the sharp tongue that i have could encourage them to start growing up and look for a job.

here are the issues.

1.) confidence
the youngest in our family has grown up sheltered from the harsh realities of the world in that he is uncomfortable in meeting new situations. his preconceived thoughts always triumph in preventing him to face the world. oh wait, the two of them actually. both twins are like this.

2.) nba



now i must admit that i watch nba sometimes for the sake of seeing dirk nowitzky win a championship. but my brother? his world revolves around miami heat or the lakers. f*ck it but i just don't get it! i am not like this with rafa, with the feu volleybal team and real madrid! i swear, i do not get affected with their loss to the point of losing concentration when writing reports for the service time of the emergency room or my hands shaking. or the idea of my senses lost for a moment for every defeat. i. am. not. like. that. and lastly,

3.) lazyness
i beging to question and reflect to the manner i presented myself to the twins way back after finishing my degree. all i could remember is me walking all over manila for hospitals that would accept me. even the hospitals in pampanga were not spared from my glitzy resume. but why are not they applying? i believe that i have been a good model for them. it is just that i found job after almost a year from passing the licensure exam. but you know how it is to be a nurse in this country.

the reason why i am able to blog like a mad man right now is that i am at home and the internet connection is pretty decent. then this twin comes at my door asking me to do a make over of his resume.

an opportunity to lash him out for his attitude was seen but i somehow "restrained" myself. however, i was still successful in telling him that it is because of nba that is why it is just now that he starts fixing his things.

well, some credit goes to my dad. he is at home by the way after two months from spreading some love in haiti.

i told my brother that he had all the time in the world to do it. so there, he left the room in utter shame (hope so) because i made him feel that way.

but i will do the make over tomorrow.

*photos taken here and here.

Resurrected

after 50 years, i am back.

let me blame the i.t. department for doing their job very well. i could not blog anymore. to add, my broadband is not living to its hyped prowess.

now, i am here. no posts for five days.

i welcome myself back to the blogosphere.

Attention

i feel like my attention span is getting shorter and shorter.

as of this moment, i should be reading some posts from people i have sought information for my ultimate goal. copy some photoshop lessons. finish some downloaded episodes of house and some movies. fix my budget for the remaining days of the month.

and i have done nothing.

even at work, my mind is drifting away. internet is not helping as well. to this, i feel like i am deteriorating.

so what will i do?

i am gonna finish this post and do the things listed here one by one. wish me luck.

High

current song: jingle bells
current smell: solignum (anti-termites)
current mood: high (on solvents)

medyo nagulat ako dahil friday na nga. parang kelan lang nung excited akong umuwi para makita si benj tapos ngayon, friday na ulit. malapit na siyang umuwi.

hindi ko rin naman kasi napapansin ang paggalaw ng mga araw dahil hanggang ngayon, hindi pa rin tapos ang opisina namen. but this is good dahil sa mga susunod na araw, mag-aaral na ulit ako. this is one thing na bago at nakakapagpa-excite saken.

si boss, ray conniff ang trip. christmas na dito sa office pero okay lang kasi medyo sumasaya ang pakiramdam ko. well, this is my best effort to shake off my nerves habang nag-aabang sa laro ng dallas mavericks.

happy friday!

Addict

magdadalawang linggo na akong addict.

ang tinitira ko? pintura at rugby. pagpasok palang sa opisina, high na agad ako. sa magtatatlong linggo sa paggawa ng aming opisina, bangag ako sa amoy ng pintura.

hindi na nga ako makapag-isip nang matino sa amoy, dumadagdag pa ang pukpok ng martilyo at mga kantiyawan ng mga trabahador sa plywood na humihiwalay sa aming opisina at magiging extension nito.



now, bakit ginugutom pa rin ako sa trabaho? dapat busog na ako sa amoy...

Ang Misteryo ng Kanta

classic na ang kantang ito sa bar sa ibaba ng building namen. mapababae o lalake, sabay sabay silang bibirit lalo na pagdating sa linya ng chorus na pataas ng pataas.

sa tatlong buwan na nag-ooperate ang bar, mainstay ang kantang ito. napansin ko, pati sa mga singing contests e paborito itong kantahin. kahit nga mga batang paslit na never pang nakaranas na mainlove.

ano bang meron sa kantang ito? e napakalungkot naman niya. tapos nakakapatid pa ng ugat sa leeg sa pag-abot ng nota.

siguro, merong kakaibang sensation kapag naabot mo yung nota. masarap siguro sa pakiramdam. o kaya, masarap lang talagang kantahin ang mga kantang pang-sawi sa pag-ibig.

di bale, bukas, itatry ko din siya.

Win or Lose

for now, i will stop following my favorite teams. i just can't see them lose and be unaffected.

there's nadal. then real madrid. feu men and women's volleyball team. for a time, i have celebrated their joy and it has affected me tremendously. but losing? it is still hard after all to accept it.

i will now stop following the dallas mavericks to avoid the pain.

because winning is something but accepting defeat is everything.

Friends

today, i spent half of my day at the e. r. observing. timing every movement of the staff. writing notes and any activities that would affect turnaround time.

unconsciously, i was reminiscing the days i worked as a bedside nurse in the critical care unit. conversations and joking around with the doctors and the nurses made me feel that i was working with them. for the first time, i have fallen in love with the emergency room.

i used to hate it. actually, only the atmosphere of doing everything fast. it is the essence of having an emergency. never realized it could be this fun. and then, the promise to myself of not bringing the issue of transferring to the nursing division was just broken.

ms. donna told me i missed nursing. and she was perfectly right.

now the nursing division is on my watch now as the audit started. i feel a lump in my throat just thinking of presenting the results. i know i have to be impartial. but i have to make friends.

so, how shall i do it?

Directions

directions usually keep your focus towards the goal.

most often than not, they come from your boss. but what happens when there is no direction coming from them?

that is what i feel now. lost. no focus towards the goal of our division. what is harder is that you have to test first his temperament of the day.

this week, he is on his impatient mode. impatient and easily angered mode.

so which is better, patients or a boss?

Calderata at Kape

after blogspot went crazy, laziness came at the same moment causing me to miss on writing the details of my fun life. ok, my dramatic and shallow life.

so what happened? well, i excommunicated myself from the bishops of our house. i only communicated to jonah, our house help. i also imposed a 3-km restriction to our house by not going near our subdivision.

this meant not going home to have my clothes for washing and no cooked food for the remaining days that i have decided to keep away from home. i believe that by doing this, people back home may realize that i did not do anything wrong. my aim is to have them contemplate of their actions and to reach the point of being apologetic.

it was easy for me. knowing my history and my attitude. with this, i spent my weekend completing the enrollment process for my masters degree. i ironed my clothes. did some little laundry. slept decently. by lunchtime, i was traveling to pampanga. but, i did not go home. i was there because it was benjie's fiesta and he was on leave from singapore after almost a year of work!

nothing has changed between the two of us. i mean there was no strange feeling of not seeing each other. thanks to yahoo messenger and facebook. then, the voracious appetite just came alive and i was just too weak to resist its powers. besides, i was with my good old friends.

all i could remember last week was saturday. me being with benjie, ruffa, joan, cams, don, von and dennis. i was happy. i was not alone. i did not eat alone. i was with my friends.