In Truth

most of the days, i feel like i have no free will at all. work dictates my day and activities. then once off duty, my mind tends to go on a resting mode.

for most of the part, there is this feeling that my life will be like this for the coming days. probably years. well, if you can still call this life.

my school has been affected. my pimples are coming back to life. my tummy is getting bigger again after compensating from a hard day's work.

i have not told you also about work per se. trust me, there were moments when i questioned myself if this was i really wanted. if this life is what i craved for when i was still working at an office.

or what if come back to egypt.

but thing is, i have changed. what ifs have no place in my life now.

even regrets.

in truth, there are a lot of lessons that have left indelible marks in my heart.

there's patience. when i feel that my brothers are too slow with household chores or when they do not get the message i am trying to send while talking to them, i think about myself. i think about the times that i am working very slow because i am not yet familiar with the routine at work. i think about the senior staff who are very patient with me even if i commit some errors or when i do not know about a thing or two.

there's also the need for good relationships. with patients, you need to establish a good working relationship with them. why? it will make your work lighter and enjoyable. a win-win situation. now at this point, i have asked myself if have done my part in maintaining or even establishing relationships with people around me. sorry but it is still a work in progress.

then, there's discipline. discipline in the sense that when you work, you have to have this in keeping a system that will work for you and for the patient. honestly, i suck at this. it shows with my school and in my health.

these are things that has taught me with the past months of being back at the bedside. i say that it is not an easy job being a nurse. but then, when you get compliments from patients and their relatives, you can't help but smile and be happy that you are a nurse.

so, how are you?

Danger

shoot.

i am delayed like more than a month now for three assignments. plus, i took my final exams in two hours only!

i think i am in danger with my school.

sigh....

Off

march is here and i started it by working my ass off for five days straight.

talk about tired. and exploited. but hey, i am okay. i just need to take a moment to rest and savor the moment that now, i can relax.

still catching up with my studies...

so i guess, i can't relax yet.