this year started by making everyone at the unit busy. high census. demanding relatives. sick people. this is how we roll.
totally spent and exhausted, i have yet to stop myself from binge eating and sitting in front of my laptop. thinking that i deserve all these unhealthy stuff, i wonder what the hell happened to my rest days.
discipline. self-control. priorities. i may have to start all over again.
Showing posts with label Project Transformation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Project Transformation. Show all posts
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Nadalism
i have been away for so long from my blog that i thought blogging again would not be possible. like the old days when i was in egypt, i could hardly blog and tell you so many wonderful stories. well, some are really not that good.
as you might have known, work is the number one killer of my time. my usual routine is described as work-home-do the laundry-eat-sleep. no more social life and my time for my academic pursuits keep vanishing.
at this point, i consider it as the most challenging time. my body could not keep up with the things that i have to do. well, i have myself to blame- procrastination and lack of focus. these things sadly have taken their part in my work that for two days, i was only saved by a prayer from committing errors. errors which usually are not common to me.
exhaustion. yes it could be. morning shifts just drain me of my energy. right now, i am sick again with colds. last year was not like this. i could only think of three times when i had colds but this year, this is my third already.
the slump i am experiencing right now, i know how to end it. but, it seems that it gets the better of me. like staying like this would be fine with me.
ending this, i have Nadal in my mind. his struggles with Nole has come to an end. like what he said, he had to prepare all the time and respect the opponent. i know his win is something special for me.
as you might have known, work is the number one killer of my time. my usual routine is described as work-home-do the laundry-eat-sleep. no more social life and my time for my academic pursuits keep vanishing.
at this point, i consider it as the most challenging time. my body could not keep up with the things that i have to do. well, i have myself to blame- procrastination and lack of focus. these things sadly have taken their part in my work that for two days, i was only saved by a prayer from committing errors. errors which usually are not common to me.
exhaustion. yes it could be. morning shifts just drain me of my energy. right now, i am sick again with colds. last year was not like this. i could only think of three times when i had colds but this year, this is my third already.
the slump i am experiencing right now, i know how to end it. but, it seems that it gets the better of me. like staying like this would be fine with me.
ending this, i have Nadal in my mind. his struggles with Nole has come to an end. like what he said, he had to prepare all the time and respect the opponent. i know his win is something special for me.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Oprah Positive
So last Thursday and Friday, I attended something what you may call as the most appropriate workshop ever created for the disturbed employee soul that is in me. It was about the eight habits of conscientious worker.
For all the one or two readers out there in my blog, you know my troubled history of staying in one workplace when I reached that one year anniversary date.
I am that restless.
The workshop provided some new perception about life in general. Including the warfare at the jungle called office. In my last post, I decided to be a bitch but thing is, if it ain’t natural, it ain’t real. Does that make me good? Monster mom tells otherwise haha.
And yes, the workshop was like full of positivity. Really learned a lot especially in having control over all the sh*t the office carefully offers. Like a box of chocolates, I can choose not to pick them. But, experience proves otherwise.
The cheapo soul also was satisfied by given the free access to the video about “The Secrets.” Partly, I can actually tell that it has some truth in it as my state of my mind is in chaos; hence, my career path is also in discord.
Right now, I am trying to create that one big goal that my life will somehow accomplish. Thoughts will be reprogrammed to be positive. Smile lines will be evident in my big face.
And hopefully, this blog will be a lot positive in content.
Like Oprah positive.
For all the one or two readers out there in my blog, you know my troubled history of staying in one workplace when I reached that one year anniversary date.
I am that restless.
The workshop provided some new perception about life in general. Including the warfare at the jungle called office. In my last post, I decided to be a bitch but thing is, if it ain’t natural, it ain’t real. Does that make me good? Monster mom tells otherwise haha.
And yes, the workshop was like full of positivity. Really learned a lot especially in having control over all the sh*t the office carefully offers. Like a box of chocolates, I can choose not to pick them. But, experience proves otherwise.
The cheapo soul also was satisfied by given the free access to the video about “The Secrets.” Partly, I can actually tell that it has some truth in it as my state of my mind is in chaos; hence, my career path is also in discord.
Right now, I am trying to create that one big goal that my life will somehow accomplish. Thoughts will be reprogrammed to be positive. Smile lines will be evident in my big face.
And hopefully, this blog will be a lot positive in content.
Like Oprah positive.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Isabela
the week proved to be one of the worst to date. no news yet about the decision. mom is always, well, the mom that i have known. the relatives are still in the house. rain has stopped falling and since then, the humid is killing me. i am not feeling well at all.
much as my friends would listen and motivate me, i cannot seem to find the change of heart. nothing seems to be going on my way. but, i have decided to end it all. the negativity. the hate.
but in order to do this, i need to get out of my box. i guess, i will need the fresh environment of isabela.
much as my friends would listen and motivate me, i cannot seem to find the change of heart. nothing seems to be going on my way. but, i have decided to end it all. the negativity. the hate.
but in order to do this, i need to get out of my box. i guess, i will need the fresh environment of isabela.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
A Time for Change
a new year has come and each year, a lot of people yearn for changes in their lives. maybe to compensate for the past mistakes and to build a new and promising one, all are bent on planning for changes. for modifications and for renewals.
this year, i envision myself doing things that i didn't care to do all my life. to this, i have to embrace the core of my life. of my humanity.
i would like to share this to you that i read from a blog of annelle.
Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively.
But God says, "No, not until you are satisfied and fulfilled and content with living, loved by ME ALONE, with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to ME ALONE. I love you, my child, and until you discover that ONLY in me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with me, exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings.
"I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow me to give you that most thrilling plan existing, one that you can't imagine. I want you to have the BEST! Please allow me to bring it to you. You just keep watching me, expecting that satisfaction, expecting the greatest things, and know that I Am. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you. YOU MUST WAIT!
"Don't be anxious. Don't worry. Don't look around at the things others have received. Don't look at the things you think you want. You just keep looking off and away up to me, or you'll miss what I want to show you.
"And then, when you're ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you would ever imagine. I am working this very minute to have both of you ready at the same time, until you are both satisfied exclusively with me and the life I have planned and prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with me... and this is perfect love.
"Dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with me and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty and perfection and love that I offer you with myself. Know that I love you utterly. I am God Almighty. Believe and be satisfied."
i pray for the best me in 2010. cheers!
this year, i envision myself doing things that i didn't care to do all my life. to this, i have to embrace the core of my life. of my humanity.
i would like to share this to you that i read from a blog of annelle.
Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively.
But God says, "No, not until you are satisfied and fulfilled and content with living, loved by ME ALONE, with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to ME ALONE. I love you, my child, and until you discover that ONLY in me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with me, exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings.
"I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow me to give you that most thrilling plan existing, one that you can't imagine. I want you to have the BEST! Please allow me to bring it to you. You just keep watching me, expecting that satisfaction, expecting the greatest things, and know that I Am. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you. YOU MUST WAIT!
"Don't be anxious. Don't worry. Don't look around at the things others have received. Don't look at the things you think you want. You just keep looking off and away up to me, or you'll miss what I want to show you.
"And then, when you're ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you would ever imagine. I am working this very minute to have both of you ready at the same time, until you are both satisfied exclusively with me and the life I have planned and prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with me... and this is perfect love.
"Dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with me and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty and perfection and love that I offer you with myself. Know that I love you utterly. I am God Almighty. Believe and be satisfied."
i pray for the best me in 2010. cheers!
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
What Should I Do with My Life?
To accomplish my project, certain things are needed to be asked, done and acquired. For this post, I will be talking about my first material- a book.
Last Monday, I accompanied my sister at a nearby mall to help her look for gifts to give her boyfriend’s mom for birthday. While waiting for her to arrive from work, I set to find by myself the gifts she might be interested in giving. Upon doing the search, I entered Book Sale and scanned for books that might interest me. Normally, I end up finding nothing. No book, magazine or novel that would really catch my attention or most of the time, I don’t have the money to spend for that find.
I started with the magazines and then I went to the section for medical books. Of course, I am still a medically-inclined person and I tried looking for a drug handbook that I may use in my work. Well, I found one but it is too expensive! Why not look for other books? So I proceeded and found a red book. It struck me like the book was telling me “Get me! I am the one you needed!” Picking up the book, I fell in love with it and immediately bought it. The title and the central theme of the book is this- What Should I Do with My Life?
The book is by Po Bronson who, also had to ask the question to himself. He said, “We all have passions if we choose to see them. Most of us don’t get epiphanies. We don’t get clarity. Our purpose doesn’t arrive neatly packaged as destiny. We only get a whisper. A blank, nonspecific urge. That’s how it starts.”
Why in the world would a book appear to me in the middle of my mental journey for the meaning of my life? Divine intervention? Probably. All I can say is that I am enjoying the book right now. I have taken notes for words of wisdom that somehow knock at my heart and soul. Helpful? Definitely. I would like to leave you with these words from the book:
“Sometimes, what you’re not good at is the place to start. Learning to do it, and do it well, might fix the problem.”
Last Monday, I accompanied my sister at a nearby mall to help her look for gifts to give her boyfriend’s mom for birthday. While waiting for her to arrive from work, I set to find by myself the gifts she might be interested in giving. Upon doing the search, I entered Book Sale and scanned for books that might interest me. Normally, I end up finding nothing. No book, magazine or novel that would really catch my attention or most of the time, I don’t have the money to spend for that find.
I started with the magazines and then I went to the section for medical books. Of course, I am still a medically-inclined person and I tried looking for a drug handbook that I may use in my work. Well, I found one but it is too expensive! Why not look for other books? So I proceeded and found a red book. It struck me like the book was telling me “Get me! I am the one you needed!” Picking up the book, I fell in love with it and immediately bought it. The title and the central theme of the book is this- What Should I Do with My Life?
The book is by Po Bronson who, also had to ask the question to himself. He said, “We all have passions if we choose to see them. Most of us don’t get epiphanies. We don’t get clarity. Our purpose doesn’t arrive neatly packaged as destiny. We only get a whisper. A blank, nonspecific urge. That’s how it starts.”
Why in the world would a book appear to me in the middle of my mental journey for the meaning of my life? Divine intervention? Probably. All I can say is that I am enjoying the book right now. I have taken notes for words of wisdom that somehow knock at my heart and soul. Helpful? Definitely. I would like to leave you with these words from the book:
“Sometimes, what you’re not good at is the place to start. Learning to do it, and do it well, might fix the problem.”
Project TRANSFORMATION
This is a project called TRANSFORMATION.
I know it is very cheesy but I tell you, I have been in an indeterminate state for a couple of months now. I don’t know what state is this but it seems that I am not alone is this plight.
A lot of people that I know are also in this state. Well, we are called newly registered nurses. At this time, nothing is much to be done to change our situation of being jobless and being situated in a country where one out of five people is a nurse (not sure with the statistics though). Being Registered Nurse may be only in title but not in reality because nurses are not nurses when they do not show what they can do. I belong to this sad reality…
In this state, you get to think a lot. You get to ponder a lot of ideas and sometimes, you even encounter delusions. But most often than not, you meet depression. I am very much into this encounter almost all of the times. When you have nothing to do, you entertain a lot of thoughts that sometimes are not really helpful. I have succumbed to depression these past few months and it is evident with my weight. Yes my weight!
Apart from entertaining these negative thoughts, I have been surfing the net almost everyday and watching TV. Most of the time, I admit that I really do not get something worthy while doing these things until a certain PBB housemate showed me the way, the way to TRANSFORMATION. His name is Robi. You probably read my previous blog entry. From there, I was stunned by how much waste I have produced in the past. As I always tell to my friends, he made me realized a lot of things. Here they go:
a.) I have not maximized my potentials. I’m not being conceited but God has blessed me a lot and it is such a shame that I have not been using them to fullest or even for His greater glory. What have I been doing in the past? Honestly, I don’t know. I was like drifting away from what I used to do.
b.) I have stopped learning. I stopped reading. I stopped feeding my mind. It may be true that I surf the net always but what do I get? Purely junk in its most enticing form.
c.) I have been preoccupied with myself but I have not cared my whole body and soul. I am always thinking what I shall do next or what is in store for me. Constantly, I keep whining about my present situation. My thoughts are always concerned about me but never really reached my core. I have gained a lot of weight and did not take care of my skin and eyes. I have stopped exercising. I have ballooned to my biggest weight so far…
d.) I have been negative in my thoughts, emotions and actions. I had so much hatred in me. Probably because of the depression that I have been struggling with. I easily lose my temper and I have hurt the people close to me. In the end, I have hurt myself. Lastly;
e.) I have not been praying and communicating with God that much. This by far is the biggest realization that I had. Why did I falter in to being in touch with God? Why? Am I being too complacent with the fact that He will always provide that I had let Him just be there whenever I feel that I need Him? I am deeply embarrassed that I have become like this. For the longest time, God is always there for me- loving, caring and protecting me. What have I shown to Him?
It really takes a lot of discipline and commitment to your endeavor to make it realized and fulfilled. I am embarking to a new adventure in life and I hope that I do well in the end.
I love this part when I find the spark to a new me. Sadly, it fades away. I just wish and pray that with this one, it will last for a long time until I am completely TRANSFORMED….
I know it is very cheesy but I tell you, I have been in an indeterminate state for a couple of months now. I don’t know what state is this but it seems that I am not alone is this plight.
A lot of people that I know are also in this state. Well, we are called newly registered nurses. At this time, nothing is much to be done to change our situation of being jobless and being situated in a country where one out of five people is a nurse (not sure with the statistics though). Being Registered Nurse may be only in title but not in reality because nurses are not nurses when they do not show what they can do. I belong to this sad reality…
In this state, you get to think a lot. You get to ponder a lot of ideas and sometimes, you even encounter delusions. But most often than not, you meet depression. I am very much into this encounter almost all of the times. When you have nothing to do, you entertain a lot of thoughts that sometimes are not really helpful. I have succumbed to depression these past few months and it is evident with my weight. Yes my weight!
Apart from entertaining these negative thoughts, I have been surfing the net almost everyday and watching TV. Most of the time, I admit that I really do not get something worthy while doing these things until a certain PBB housemate showed me the way, the way to TRANSFORMATION. His name is Robi. You probably read my previous blog entry. From there, I was stunned by how much waste I have produced in the past. As I always tell to my friends, he made me realized a lot of things. Here they go:
a.) I have not maximized my potentials. I’m not being conceited but God has blessed me a lot and it is such a shame that I have not been using them to fullest or even for His greater glory. What have I been doing in the past? Honestly, I don’t know. I was like drifting away from what I used to do.
b.) I have stopped learning. I stopped reading. I stopped feeding my mind. It may be true that I surf the net always but what do I get? Purely junk in its most enticing form.
c.) I have been preoccupied with myself but I have not cared my whole body and soul. I am always thinking what I shall do next or what is in store for me. Constantly, I keep whining about my present situation. My thoughts are always concerned about me but never really reached my core. I have gained a lot of weight and did not take care of my skin and eyes. I have stopped exercising. I have ballooned to my biggest weight so far…
d.) I have been negative in my thoughts, emotions and actions. I had so much hatred in me. Probably because of the depression that I have been struggling with. I easily lose my temper and I have hurt the people close to me. In the end, I have hurt myself. Lastly;
e.) I have not been praying and communicating with God that much. This by far is the biggest realization that I had. Why did I falter in to being in touch with God? Why? Am I being too complacent with the fact that He will always provide that I had let Him just be there whenever I feel that I need Him? I am deeply embarrassed that I have become like this. For the longest time, God is always there for me- loving, caring and protecting me. What have I shown to Him?
It really takes a lot of discipline and commitment to your endeavor to make it realized and fulfilled. I am embarking to a new adventure in life and I hope that I do well in the end.
I love this part when I find the spark to a new me. Sadly, it fades away. I just wish and pray that with this one, it will last for a long time until I am completely TRANSFORMED….
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