Saturday, July 30, 2011


suffocated from the assignment, family finances and the behavior of everyone in our house, i decided to break my promise to not write in my blog until i am done with the school requirement...


then, there is this colleague of my sister who has sent her package together with my sister's. i mean, that is perfectly fine but their hesitance to stretch a bit in meeting me at the nearest mall in our house, that is insane! i have crossed about 6 towns last saturday and spent almost 600 pesos just to get the package.

that is just f***ing unfair.

what my sister told me? just think that you are doing a good thing for other people. did i just hear that? i am the usually bad guy in every place i have been.

sorry. this is just how intense i feel. as far as the assignment is concerned, i am doing my best in flexing my brain. the finances? i know God will provide. and the behavior? ugghh. i am gonna shrug my shoulders not in an attempt to ignore but to just accept the reality.

okay. i'm done wasting time and energy. back to assignment....

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Shifting Mode

my goal was to start with my assignment. finish some two questions and continue with searching for research articles.

but then, my troubled sister needs company over there in qatar. i know how that feels and for my sister to be the one experiencing it, it is serious. our conversation revolved in this topic: finances.

constantly challenged, we dismissed our anxieties to praying them til they feel embarrassed in pestering us.

then poan buzzed me. a sad news she started. as it turns out, lei has psoriasis. my one-year old inaanak is already suffering from a condition no one really knows the cause. genetics is a major factor but then, that won't go away.

now my talk with poan focused on the fact that lei is still more blessed over kids suffering from other life-threatening diseases.

i may not have started my assignment but i was happy i was available to people who matter to me. and of course, another entry to my blog.

now, back to regular programming.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Eat, Eat More and Pray

alex got married while jerome is now a father. two classmates. two friends. two people of my age.

now, i hate this part where i look at myself and see where i am or what i have now. comparing is just a disease you inflict to you own body and soul. it makes you weak. it kills your defenses and you become open for invasion of discontent, depression and despair.

i think it is funny that i made this definition of a harmful disease in man but i failed to get rid myself of this phenomenon.

pray Charl. pray. and eat.


by monday, i should be done with my assignment.

i guess this is the part of me where rian is very evident. procrastinating. rushing. cramming. but, can you blame us? the urgency of having to produce something out of nothing is enough to keep me writing all day long.

which leads me to my work.

i could have finished my audit report today but instead, i surfed and surfed the net for needless information and addiction. it stems from the belief that i still have tomorrow and friday.

this is getting worse.

Sunday, July 24, 2011


mga ten hours ang nilaan ko kahapon para sa pagbiyahe mula pampanga hanggang nueva ecija at pabalik muli sa pampanga.

nagkita kami ni poan at ang kuwentuhan ay naging masaya kahit ang inaanak kong si lei ay napakalikot.


lechon! ang sarap ng lechon nina poan! ang lutong pa ng balat! deadly! hay ang mga kasama sa office na may myfitnesspal na account, mga mypal na lang.

pag-uwi pa ng bahay mula sa pagkuha sa mga padala ni ate kay poan, ang daming cake! birthday kasi ni lola. so much food! so much blessings! thank you Lord!


sobrang busy ko sa mga bagay na hindi related sa studies at work kaya ratsada ako this week. last part ng audit at mga reports na due for this month. then mga assignment at exams! help!


sa loob ng isang linggo, dalawang kaibigan ang umalis ng bansa. si weng sa saudi at si mark sa sudan.

ako na ba ang susunod? i wish!

Lord, Your will be done.

Monday, July 18, 2011


yes ma'am.

hays. lagi nalang napagkakamalang babae sa telepono. nakulangan ata ako sa puberty. i kinda hated din naman my voice. nakukulangan din ako. magwork na yata ako dapat para ma-stimulate ang testosterone ko.

*photo taken here.


monday. cramped. everyone rushing. traffic. so para makarating on-time, i rode an ordinary bus with me in formal attire. hello carbon monoxide! hello ultraviolet rays! hello oiliness! this is dedication to work.

*photo taken here.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Curly Tops

say hello to the newest character in my blog: curly tops! yay!

apparently, his significance from annoying almost everybody in the office has earned him the most coveted spot in my blog. well, this is just to give you a break from my rants and what not here in my home.

curly tops started with a quite positive note. then, his childish and egotistic ways has reached the pinnacle of conceitedness. his uncanny ways of bullying people has transcended to us mere mortals in the office.

what he does is place deadlines like a.s.a.p. for a 30-minute notification and asks for explanation of your report even if you have made that report for thirty times before.

his place at mt. olympus created an ambition of no one can understand its significance. he already has the power and we are just wondering why he has to be insecure most of the time.

right now, i am not happy anymore with his antics. people here are demoralized. so thank you for the other gods in mt. olympus for giving us a rest day from his ways here in the office.



matapos ang ilang taon, here comes again yung mga panahong ang daming dapat gawin. assignment. reading activities. audit. reports. mga pag-aayos ng papeles. meeting people.

ilang gabi na din akong natutulog ng pasado alas dose mula sa paggawa ng assignment. ang sarap lumaklak ng antihistamine para sa isang masarap na tulog habang ang mga allergies sa katawan ay nanahimik na.

bukas, seminar ako. hanggang linggo. walang pahinga. walang pagtunganga sa kuwarto.

in a way, natutuwa ako at dahil parang may silbi naman ako sa buhay. ang hirap lang, at the end of the day, i feel so dry. p

nearing my first year here at work, i look back to where i am now. well, dito pa rin ako sa pilipinas habang si weng ay paalis na mamaya papuntang saudi. while my friends have returned to the bedside, i am still confined with the noisy halls of our office. i still get shitty remarks from botcha girl. my varicose veins are starting to appear from time and motion studies.

well, this is something. nung lugmok na lugmok ako mula sa nasirang pangarap sa london, nakabangon naman ako.

i have to prepare now for my one-year anniversary.

Saturday, July 9, 2011


i think i could use some beer right now. pwede ring tanduay ice na hindi ko pa rin natitikman hanggang ngayon.

at work, some nurses call us the zombies as if we eat their brains by our mere presence. effort ako everytime i face the world at work. ilang beses pabalik balik sa c.r. para icheck ang mukhang hindi naman nagbabago. wait, ang mukhang hindi pumapayat.

why i am saying this? cause i feel like i am zombie by doing routine things without passion. or something that would make me hunger for more. walang drive.

and still, i feel like there is still no direction with my life and career. hay, gusto ko nang kakaiba. nang something na may saysay.

partly, i need to save myself from botcha girl. parang nahahawa ako sa kababawan ng pag-iisip at conviction. napapadalas ang mga halakhak ko sa kanyang folly.

this is not right. wait, eto rin. this is not right. may mga assignment pa pala ako.

hey charlton, that should drive you!

The Care Plan

i'm dead.

well, somehow. the deadline for our first major assignment is on july 16. the day i am supposed to take our first long exam.

let us now check my progress. done with assignment? not a chance. i am stuck with the nursing care plan for mrs. bm. her altered thought processes has also altered my normal day to day activities. her forgetfulness is so infectious that i am nearly 6 days away from the deadline.

after four years, i am back doing nursing care plans. a part of my college days where i can say that i excelled. i ask myself now where that brilliance went. it has been hours when i opened my book for the list of diagnoses and interventions.

partly, my wandering ways in the cyberspace is a thing to blame. hello self-discipline! i think it is quite obvious that i don't have it. say hello to my weight!

how about my modules? i have to read until module 9 but right now, i have read only three chapters in a really serious mode. the panic mode button is still in its shell. waiting any moment for me to break the glass.

looking back, i was more of a cramming guy. i guess the adrenaline that comes with it has helped me in the past. and right now, this is something that i do not want to maintain.

but, it looks like i am heading to that direction. or until mrs. bm comes knocking at our door asking me to finish her care plan.

Monday, July 4, 2011


yesterday, my colds kept me confined in my bed.

that meant no azkals game even if i had to call early last june to get a ticket. also, no sunday service with lovely.

i resolved to myself that i will finish my assignment which i did not.

as i was reading my advanced pathophysiology book about allergies, i said to myself, "that is effing me!" in the midst of quality time with my book, i fell asleep.

my point is, i am writing non-sense now because this is my way of coping with rafa's defeat against novak.

i hate it when he is so vulnerable but i am proud of his humility and strength. but now, i will not be defeated by my laziness with the tasks that i have to do.

this is the reality.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Mildly-damp Face Towel

though relaxed and comfortable, studying through online mode can be stressful.

that is if you do not feel like getting a mediocre grade and personal embarrassment that can come from cramming and several nights of sleeping without reading a chapter or two of your books and modules.

ryan has always puzzled me about his cramming. now, i share his sentiments.

currently, i am doing an assignment due on july 16. though i have few more days to do it, i am not gonna stay passive with this one. work can be too demanding so i will take all the opportunity to do my school work.

doing my assignment feels like a mildly damp face towel that when you try to squeeze the water of it, nothing comes out. so there, my brain has nothing to offer now.

i just feel like sleeping through the night. good luck!