Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The Year That Was...

at this time, i thought it was best to look back to what they call as my year since it is the year of the ox. is it really my year? let me see...

a.) January- four months after coming to egypt, i was able to buy my laptop. yay! work was shit and was learning the routines at my own pace. housemates started to sleep at the other side of the city leaving me most of the time alone in the flat.

b.) February- i was the best nurse for this month! this came after giving me all the difficult cases i have handled. it was also the title that now, you can abuse me more by giving again the most tiring cases.

my former work place...

c.) March- had difficulty fixing my papers for australia. work was getting shittier and shittier. indeed a tiring month. a lot of bad cases all throughout the month.

d.) April- it was final, i was not able to acquire the document that would help me gain more qualifications regarding my application in australia. the stress of work had me taking two absences this month with the last spent on a trip to a park in Al Azhar with shiel and jen. rest is such a luxury coming at the price of $60. i moved out and moved in with kuya alex. my batchmates were not keen on keeping the flat so i made my move first and shocking them in the end. i like surprises.

at al azhar park with shiela and jen

e.) May- depressed. homesick (a bit). all of these came from my failure to get my application going. this was also the last month for shiela, a good friend and colleague of mine. work? did i say shitty?

shiela, gerby and me in one of our nakaw moments hehe

f.) June- had in my mind to just finish my one year here in egypt. sheila finally left. i was slowly recovering from my depression.

g.) July- moved in to a new flat again. internet was down for a while. i bought my digital camera yay! work was getting on my nerves. i was now used to receiving patients who won't finish the shift with me. more vocal now of my frustrations against my co-workers.

h.) August- i was robbed! i experienced the closest thing to death and it was not a good experience. this happened after i finally decided that i will resign and come home by october. people were shocked about me being robbed and me resigning. but i felt relieved.

i.) September- one year in egypt and my last haha. one month to go before coming home. i had my trip to egypt's tourist spots planned and had them done by the end of the month. i have been to luxor, alexandria, sinai and sharm el shiekh, red sea! my birthday was also memorable as i celebrated with new friend in a very posh resto-bar!

celebrating my birthday at little buddha

preparing for banana boat ride at sharm el shiekh in red sea

on board a felucca at the nile river

in front of the queen hatshepshut temple in luxor...

at the karnak temple still in luxor...

j.) October- had my last few days in egypt visiting again the pyramids and meeting friends. on the third day of the month, i was in the philippines! met my old friends and prepared for ielts.

my last visit to the pyramids...

k.) November- took the IELTS and passed it for the second time! applied for so many agencies and thanks to God, i accepted a job offer in UK!

l.) December-
had some papers prepared for UK. christmas was still the same, totally unchanged for me. met my high school friends and had a blast! still waiting though for some documents to arrive.

at our reunion with my high schol friends and our gorgeous adviser, ma'am lim.

generally, i do not believe that a specific year is your year. i believe that i can make it my year through hard work, determination and faith in God. this, i plan to do again next year.

i just had to thank all the people who made my life happy. i felt human again. i smiled and laughed my heart out. i broke my inhibitions and just was myself. with you, i discovered the bright side of living. i am hopeful and full of positivity.

to those who made my life crappy and shitty, thank you as well. you have served your purpose well and now i am better. stronger. motivated.

to that one special love of my life, i hope i will meet you this year. i plan to be with you the whole year and if possible, as long as we are alive. i have always wanted to meet you, to share my life with you and to have me as your own. i know my whole existence has been waiting all my life and i pray that you won't break me for i am as fragile as a glass.

to You, my Father and my Friend, thank You for always loving me. i do not deserve You but Your love makes me special. i know You have plans for me and i fully entrust myself and my soul to You o Lord.

Cheers to a New Year!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

No More Blind Spot

the past two nights, i went home past midnight. i attended two parties/reunions. one for the organization i joined since my first year high school and the other one was with my high school classmates.

oh, i forgot the family reunion! but since i don't count it as special and technically, i was just there for 20 minutes so that does not matter.

few days earlier, i had thoughts of not attending any. maybe of shame of me not having work again. or probably some old feelings of high school madness that are bugging me but benj's convincing power proved to be stronger.

you see, i am not that really popular way back in high school. i had some moments but i really didn't stand out. there was always someone who was better than me.

for the first few moments at the first party, i felt this uncomfortable pinch in my heart. truth is, the scar of being really not accepted in a group is still there.

but i have moved on. i am better now at what i do. i am stronger. successful in my own way.

and these people who made my high school life more dramatic? they don't exist now in my world.

contrary to the second party, from the first moment i was there, i felt loved. happy. belonged. each smile was very real. no words could express my feelings.

going out and meeting people who have touched your life may not be bad at all. you get to feel your old self while having that new you around. it makes you alive and it makes you to be better at yourself. you feel proud that you belong to this certain group and you are one of them.

in the end, i realize a lot of things. whatever doubts i have about myself, i just have to look to these people who love me. there is really nothing to be found in comparing yourself with other people for there will be those who will be greater and lesser than you. those people that i envied or longed for their acceptance? they didn't deserve me in the first place. time made me realize this. what i could not see before, it is now within my view. no more blind spot.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Cheers to that One Special Day!

clothes may be new or old.
they may fascinate or disappoint people.
they make or break us.

people may or may not change.
they may come and go.
they may love or hurt us.

life may be fucked up or not.
it may surprise or fail us.
it may be what we wanted or what we hated.

but who cares? it is christmas. ain't a good reason to reflect and give thanks for this one special event that can change everything that is messing our lives?

merry christmas to you and your family!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Kung Bakit Hindi Magandang Ideya ang Mag-asawa ng Beauty Queen

habang tumutugon sa tawag na kalikasan, nabuo sa aking isip ang ilan sa mga punto kung bakit hindi magandang ideya ang mag-asawa ng isang dating beaty queen.

matagal ko nang naisip to, hindi ko lang makumpleto ang mga argumento ko para masuportahan ko lahat. sa hindi masyadong matagal na paninirahan sa earth, isa ako sa mga nagkaron ng first-hand experience sa isang hindi masyadong magandang karanasan na ibinunga ng pag-aasawa ng isang dating beauty queen.

hindi naman sa gine-generalize ko ang lahat ng mga beauty queens dahil ito ay mga observations ko lang sa isang tao- ang aking "minamahal na inay." mas mataas ang tsansa ng tama ang mga punto ko para sa mga hard-core na beauty queens.

narito ang mga punto ko kung bakit para sa akin, hindi magandang ideya ang mag-asawa ng isang dating beauty queen:

una, ang tingin nila sa buhay sa realidad ay isang beauty show. at sa show na ito, siya ang bida o kaya siya dapat ang bida. siya ang magstand out. siya dapat ang manalo lagi. sa pagiging bida niya, marami siyang demands. gusto niya, siya lagi ang nasusunod dahil of course, siya ay nasa isang show at siya nga naman ang bida.

sa araw araw na kasama ko ang aking nanay, ang kanyang gusto lamang ang kailangang masunod and it sucks dahil si dady, tinotolerate lamang ito. madalas, wala na siya sa lugar pero si dady? tahimik lang sa isang sulok habang ang mala-sirena ng bumberong pagtatalak ng aking ina ang namamayani sa bahay. it sucks big time dahil hindi ko alam kung eto ba talaga ang babaeng minahal ni dady. masyadong domineering. control freak at unreasonable.

ano nga ba ang magagawa ko? ako ay isang hamak lang na staff sa isang show na kung saan siya ang bida. sinabi nga nya minsan saken at kay ate na anak niya lang kami. oo nga naman, siya ang bida este nanay pala. so dapat, props lang kami no?

pangalawa, dahil sa isang beauty contest, marami ang kalaban, hindi minsan naiiwasan ang mainggit. dahil wala nga namang perfect na tao, ang mga bagay na wala ang isang tao ay labis niyang inaasam at kadalasan, lumalagpas sa punto ng kabaliwan.

itinuturing kong kabaliwan ang mainggit. oh well, minsan maganda rin naman ang mainggit pero yung tipong nainggit ka at ngayon, ginawa mo itong inspirasyon upang makamit mo kung ano man ang ikinaiinggit mo.

subalit ang mainggit at ihayag ang iyong nararamdaman sa kung sino man ang nakapailigd sa iyo habang ipinahihiwatig na it sucks not to be them and not to have them around ay isang purong kagaguhan.

si inay, maraming nakikita. mainam naman sana ang makakita ng karangyaan sa buhay ngunit ang sumabay sa mga nakikita na minsan ay nakakairita sa pandinig namin ni ate habang si dady ay tahimik na naman at tinatanggap ang mga pagkukumpara na sinamahan pa ng mga reklamo, hindi ata tama.

ang iba, magaling maglakad. ang iba naman, magaling sumagot. pwede rin naman ang iba ay may magandang mukha habang ang iba ay may magandang hubog ng katawan. sa beauty contest, hindi nararapat ang mainggit dahil ito ay humihila pababa sa iyong pagkalugmok. at sa buhay? hindi kailanman makakabuti ang mainggit.

pangatlo at panghuli, dahil sa patimplak na kanilang sinalihan, ang kanilang paniniwala at prinsipyo minsan ay nagiging kasingbabaw ng kanilang konsepto ng kagandahan- isang panlabas na katangian.

sa isang patimpalak, kailangan ang lahat ay umuwing panalo. wala dapat umuuwing talunan dahil sa bawat kaganapan sa buhay ay laging may kaakibat na karanasan na mapagkukunan ng yaman. ngunit para sa isang mababaw na tao o dili kaya'y isang contestant sa beauty contest, siya ay nagiging talunan lamang kapag ang kanyang pagkatao ay nakabase pa rin sa panlabas at hindi sa kanyang angking panloob na kagandahan.

si nanay ko, madalas hindi ako sang-ayon sa mga paniniwala niya sa buhay. kagaya na lamang ng pagfreeze niya ng buko pandan as opposed sa aking belief na kailangang chilled lamang ito. ng pagiging apurado versus my relaxed and calm attitude. ng pagiging miss congeniality versus my no-nonsense and plain honesty at all costs.

marami akong resentment sa buhay. marami ring mga frustrations at ang nakakalungkot, marami ay directly at indirectly caused by my mom. aaminin ko, hindi ako close sa kanya because she keeps all lines closed. a traditional and conservative one, naisip ko lang kung dahil ba siya ang panganay sa pitong magkakapatid o dahil sa pagiging beauty queen niya?

basta ako, hindi ako mag-aasawa ng beauty queen pero hindi ko naman sinasabi na ayaw ko ng magandang mapapangasawa. it is just that, i had enough of those drama and world peace issues.

For Half of My Life

i am just so excited for the holidays! for half of my life, laging ganito and i really feel it all.

every year, this season never fails to taint the would-be simple days in other months of the year. madrama, makulay at masaya. sana nga ganito lagi.

for half of my life, i celebrate christmas alone. walang mga special someone na pagbibigyan ng regalong hindi mo lubos maisip kung magugustuhan ba niya o hindi. wala akong binibisita after ng mga misa sa simbahan and to make it more simple, wala akong tinextext or tinatawagan pouring my heart out to give them my merriest greetings.

for half of my life, i struggle to keep myself pacified to the unbelievable controlling and dominating ways of my mom coupled with principles in life and lifestyle bullshit.

for half of my life, i have always a special prayer during these times that is for the love of God, please do spare me from my pretentious acts of paying respect to relatives i do not care to see even for a decade or to the church service so early in the morning that i can hardly understand the sermon at all.

i would like to believe that a part of me has an autistic characteristic. i prefer to be alone most of the time at home. in my room or just walking around the garden. thinking. meditating. all of which, my sister cannot stand so she can't help herself but to disturb my inner peace. bakit pa ako makikipag-usap sa mga taong ayaw makinig sa suggestion ng iba? o di kaya ay tumanggap ng puna? futile. pointless at tiring.

ano ba ang logic sa pagpunta sa mga lugar na alam mong hindi ka komportable o kaya meeting other people na hindi mo naman gustong makita? dahil ba christmas? e pano pag di na pasko? kasi i feel this all the time.

malamig ba? oo naman. every year, i wallow in sheer loneliness after all the gifts were opened, friends and families reunited and kisses made to their love of their lives. so you can't blame me now kung mas gugustuhin ko pang magtrabaho during the holidays.

for half of my life, i celebrate alone. my parents have each other. my sister? her boyfriend. and my brothers? they are twins! it is indeed a struggle for me. most of the time, i feel awkward having to be in these times and places.

for half of my life, i have always wanted a warm christmas that is just full of love.

do all of these look happy? i could only imagine.

i just wish that the coming year would not be another additional year to the half of my life that is already full of blunt merrymaking and worth forgetting holidays.

Saturday, December 19, 2009


kung merong isang kantang maglalarawan ng nararamdaman ko at kung ano ang sitwasyon ko ngayon, ito na siguro yun:

by: Leona Lewis

Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose
You can't have everything
Don't you take chances
Might feel the pain
Don't you love in vain
Cause love won't set you free
I can't stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy
But safe as could be

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
Cause i'm just trying to be happy, yeah
Just wanna be happy, yeah

Holding on tightly
Just can't let it go
Just trying to play my role
Slowly disappear, ohh
But all these days, they feel like they're the same
Just different faces, different names
Get me out of here
I can't stand by your side, ohh no
And watch this life pass me by, pass me by

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
Cause i'm just trying to be happy, ohh, happy, ohh

So any turns that I can't see,
like I'm a stranger on this road
But don't say victim
Don't say anything

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me

I just wanna be happy
Ohh, yeah, happy, ohh, happy
I just wanna be, ohh
I just wanna be happy
Ohh, happy

and here's a nice video to accompany the lyrics.

Question and Answer

sa mundo, marami ang tanong na hindi natin kayang sagutin. bumabagabag, humahanap tayo ng sagot. ngunit kadalasan, ang paghahanap natin ng sagot ay nauuwi lang sa mas marami pang sagot.

sabi nga nila, what we do not know does not kill us. tama nga naman kasi the truth hurts. at kagaya ng kinalabasan sa paglubog at pagsikat ng araw, nasa huli ang pagsisisi. pagsisisi kung bakit nga ba inasam pa natin ang sagot.

am i gonna be happy? am i gonna be in uk by next year? will i be in a relationship? mga tanong na wala pang sagot. takot? wala akong nararamdaman na ganun dahil sa isip ko, ayong mabuhay nang may mga naiwang bagay na walang sagot.

Monday, December 14, 2009

The Underdog

i have always been secured of my achievements. no frills of any hint of discontent and doubt.

but to my looks and how i conduct myself is another question. and to this, i am silent most of the time.

i am no show-off. i prefer to be the underdog at most times but in the end, i have always shown them what i am capable of.

that being said, i had to accept the fact that my parents always feel threatened by stories of other people. in defense of that intimidation, they come armed with my achievements.

something i do not welcome but something i should understand of how they feel. but how?

Wednesday, December 9, 2009


bakit ang pilipinas hindi kilala sa ibang parte ng mundo?

lagi kasi akong tinatanong kung san ako galing at siyempre kahit papano e proud naman ako na sabihin sa kanila na galing ako sa pilipinas. ito yung mga panahon na ang mga pasyente ko e natutuwa saken tsaka nila sasabihin na, "oh philippines! good people!"

although madalas, sigurado ako na hindi nila alam kung san sa mundo matatagpuan ang pilipinas.

clueless sila saten. nun sa egypt, ang alam lang nilang bansa na nasa southeast asia e malaysia at thailand. tsaka nga pala indonesia. pero walang pilipinas. madalas nakakalungkot ito. walang identity. walang pangalan. sa panahon na inisip ko na sobrang kalat ang mga pilipino sa mundo, nagkamali ako.

nung nagpunta nga ako ng luxor at nagtour kasama pa ang ibang nationalities, may time na magpapakilala kami kung sang bansa kami nanggaling. ala miss universe style ba. karamihan sa kanila, akala daw nila e malaysian ako. gusto ko ngang sagutin na bakit, ganito ba kagaling magenlish ang mga malaysians? hahaha. hindi naman sa sinasabi ko na hindi magaling magenlish ang malaysians pero i know for a fact na may edge tayo sa kanila when it comes to this department.

pero mas mabuti na yung wala kang alam talaga kesa sa mali ang pagkakaalam mo sa ibang bagay. tulad na lang ng isang romanian na nakapangasawa ng pilipino. nagpunta kasi ang mag-asawa sa pinas para magbakasyon at para na rin makilala ang pamilya nung lalaki. pagbalik sa egypt, tinanong siya kung ano masasabi sa bansa natin at ang tumataginting na sagot niya ay puro kahoy daw ang mga bahay natin!

naman! mahirap daw tayo dahil puro kahoy! ang sarap batukan! kasi saken, hindi status symbol ang bahay na gawa sa bahay. mababaw. unreasonable. minsan nga ang mga kahoy na gamit sa paggawa ng bahay e napakamahal. try ka ya niyang magpunta sa forbes park? o kaya sa corinthian gardens? o kaya magpunta na lang kaya siya ng pampanga? kelan ba naging basehan ang bahay na gawa sa kahoy sa estado ng buhay?

sensitive ba? hindi naman. sabi ko nga, mas nakakainis ang kabobohan ng mga tao sa ilang bagay. mas maayos pa kasi ung wala ka talagang alam. matuturuan pa kasi ng tama.

may mga egyptians na nagtatanong kung mahirap ba ang pilipinas. ayaw kong sagutin. kasi parang ang hirap ipaliwanag ang sitwasyon saten sa kanilang mga utak na minsan napapaisip ako kung meron nga ba sila. ang masasabi ko lang, maraming mahirap saten pero meron tayong middle class kasi napansin ko lang, sa kanila, masyadong extreme. as in kung may middle class man, hindi mo pansin. kapag mayaman sa kanila, sobrang mayaman talaga at pag mahirap naman, sobrang hirap naman nila talaga.

nung nakaraan buwan, maraming balita ang lumabas tungkol sa ating bansa. may maganda at may pangit pero lahat, bumubuo ng imahe na ipinapakita natin sa mundo.

minsan, nakakaramdam ako ng hiya kung ano ang lahi ko kapag may mga masamang balitang lumalabas sa media. gusto kong magtago o kaya magpanggap na malaysian na lang ako. o kaya naman isa akong vietnamese, thai, indonesian o kaya burmese. pwede ring galing ng maldives o kaya ng bhutan. basta kung ano lang bang masabi.

ngunit sa bandang huli, ang anumang pangit na imahe ay nilalabanan ko ng aking mabuting gawa at asal. ng pag-aaruga ng isang nurse na pinoy na hindi makikita sa isang egyptian, romanian, indian o ng isang palestinian. ng lubos na paggalang sa sinumang maging pasyente ko. ng mga ngiti na nagpapasigla sa mga nais nang mawalan ng pag-asa.

naisip ko kasi, ito lang ang tanging paraaan para makilala tayo. makilala sa mabuting paraan at mabuting dahilan.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Thank You

so i got the job offer in uk.

after losing hope from the rescheduled date of interview...

after being depressed of my performance from the actual interview...

God gave me the job but i hate myself from having all these worries...of all the procedures to be done, papers to accomplish and costs that it will take.

poan tells me that i should not be like this when a lot of them are worrying of having a real nursing job. i had to pinch myself and make me realize this truth.

indeed, God is love. He knows what is best for us...thank You!

Friday, December 4, 2009

Mediterranean Sea

let us move to the other places that make alexandria one of my favorite places in egypt more than giza and cairo.

punta naman tayo sa mediterranean sea. isang malaking bansa ang egypt ngunit hindi gaya ng pilpinas, hindi ito nahahati sa mga pulo kundi ng isang malawak na lupain na binubuo ng mga bulubundukin, disyerto at kapatagan. dahil dito, maraming bansa ang nasa border ng mga ito pati na rin ang isang importanteng dagat, ang mediterranean sea.

ang dagat na ito was an important route for merchants and travelers of ancient times that allowed for trade and cultural exchange between emergent peoples of the region — the Mesopotamian, Egyptian, Phoenician, Carthaginian, Greek, Illyrian, Levantine, Roman, Moorish, Slavic and Turkish cultures. the history of the mediterranean region is crucial to understanding the origins and development of many modern societies. for the three quarters of the globe, the Mediterranean Sea is similarly the uniting element and the centre of World History (

dun sa unang post ko about the qaitbay citadel, matatanaw na ang dagat mula doon. kuha ito sa taas ng citadel.

isang lighthouse mula sa iba't ibang anggulo. sa lugar na ito, nakaramam ako ng kapayapaan mula sa pressures ng trabaho at ang noon na nalalapit kong pag-uwi sa pilipinas.

nagustuhan ko rin yung ideya na sa kabilang dulo ng dagat na ito ay europa na. kahit hindi man talaga natanaw, pakiramdam ko nakarating na rin ako ng europa.

paborito ko ring kunin sa litrato ang sunset o sunrise. ewan ko pero dahil siguro sa mensahe na ipinaparating nito na laging may pag-asa sa bawat pagdating ng bagong araw...

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Bibliotheca Alexandrina

this is a continuation of my posts about my trip in egypt. i am now going to talk about the Bibliotheca Alexandrina or the Library of Alexandria.

walking to the entrance of the library.

it is the major library and cultural center located on the shore of the Mediterranean Sea in the Egyptian city of Alexandria. it is both a commemoration of the Library of Alexandria that was lost in antiquity and an attempt to rekindle something of the brilliance that this earlier center of study and erudition represented (

eto ang bubulaga sayo pagdating mo sa main entrance ng library. sobrang ganda na you can't help yourself but stop and take a good look at it.

ito siguro yung library na literal na pwede akong tumira sa sobrang ganda ng architecture at sobrang amazing lang talaga. i am lost for words for kung gano kagara ang silid-aklatan na ito that is why i had to go back the following day para talaga makapasok at mamasdan ang ganda nito.

yung library, pababa siya sa loob. you will see later. dito sa picture, merong mga nakaukit na hieroglyphic characters.

naisip ko, kung ganito kaganda ang mga library saten, wala na sigurong magiging tamad magbasa upang matuto. nakakatuwa talaga kasi yung pakiramdam ko, hindi ko maipaliwanag. nung bago pa ako pumunta ng Egypt, sinabi ko talaga sa sarili ko na kailangan kong makapunta sa library na ito. kailangan kong mapuntahan ang mga sinaunang lugar na nagkaroon ng puwang sa ating kasaysayan at sa awa ng Diyos, nakapunta ako sa mga lugar na iyon.

ganito lang naman ang itsura ng library sa loob.

ang library na inakala kong sobrang luma e sobrang modern pala. kahit nasa malayo ka, alam mo na iyon na ang library. ang arkitektura, sobrang moderno mula sa tubig na nasa labas nito, sa planetarium at maging sa loob mismo ng gusali. ang ganda talaga kaya't napakaraming turista din ang nagpupunta dito upang mamalas ang ganda niya.

isang napakalumang printing machine...

bitbit ang mga pasalubong...

ito naman ung isa sa landmarks ng alexandria. paglabas sa library, ito ang bubungad sayo.

hanggang ngayon, madalas kong inaalala ang mga panahon na namasyal ako sa alexandria. ibang mundo kasi kumpara sa buhay sa cairo at giza. tahimik pero ang modernong ihip ng hangin ay nandon. maunlad ngunit pinapanatili ang sinaunang pagkakakilanlan. puno ng kasaysayan at ang kultura ay makulay.
kung magkakaroon ako ng pagkakataon na makabalik sa egypt, isa ang library sa babalikan ko.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

The Social Butterfly

kung nakaligtas ako kahapon mula sa mga mapanuring mata ng kaibigan ni mama at ng pagkaing nang-aakit ng aking atensiyon, sablay ako ngayon.

matapos akong konsensiyahin ng aking mga mababait na kapatid at dramahan pa ni mama, bumigay ang aking depensa sa kanilang kahilingan na sumama. ang hirap maging tambay sa totoo lang. tutal walang kuryente sa bahay, mas mabuti na sigurong makapagpalamig sa ibang bahay at makapunta sa ibang parte ng pampanga.

nampucha, papunta pa lang dun, naalibadbaran na ako sa init at traffic! whoa! piyestang-piyesta! tuloy, si daddy e sa sobrang sama ng pakiramdam nagsuka na.

now i hate this part. ung time na you will enter someone's house with all the eye's of the people staring at you. and fuck did i felt awkward with the amigas of my mom! i had a big shot being a dork killing time.

minsan, nacoconvince ako na may pagka-antisocial ako (ung literal na meaning ha, hindi yung totoo sa medical field). sa ganitong pagkakataon, hindi talaga ako mapipilit ng sinuman na sumama sa mga social events. i know, ang pangit tignan para sa isang nurse pero ganun talaga. at least, i am making some effort to change and i hope it is not too late.

deep down inside the commanding request to show up, alam ko na proud lang si mama pero di na kailangan na sabihin kung ano mga na-achieve at ginagawa ko sa buhay ko. i am really keeping it low. tuloy, nagturok pa ako ng glutathione sa isa sa mga amiga niya. malas lang ni tita at naka-apat akong turok gawa ng walang tourniquet at naconscious ako sa audience. talk about being comfortable with the crowd!