day 1 at the new unit of assignment. icu transfer. diaper changes. less than 24-hour post-operative phase. unfamiliarity with the new surroundings.
to sum it up: it was a tiring and exhausting.
my day started really well until a patient started to feel nauseated and vomited. then, the baptism of fire happened. i guess it could have been easier if i had the necessary tools-familiarity with the unit, a password to keep my need for the supplies answered and probably just the little things that make a shift smooth-micropore, calculator (lost it during the shift), marker and some nourishment.
to be fair, there were some people who were really kind. and helpful but then, home is really where your heart is. even if you had the busiest and craziest shift, still, if you are with the people that you work with on a regular basis, everything seems fine. i really do not know how long i can stand these- different unit, crazy shifts and the feeling of starting again.
Showing posts with label Sad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sad. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Saturday, March 2, 2013
In Crisis
as far as i know, monster mom is in midlife crisis. coupled with her actual menopause, her constant "temper tantrums" and impatience were just some of the highlights.
monster mom never really had to work in life. after marrying dad, she spent her life taking care of us. with the help of yayas. she never practiced her profession which was midwifery. now that we are all grown up and the financial situation of the family is really not that pleasing, she kinda makes us feel that the life she is living right now is something she did now dream of.
complains. whining. comparisons to the life of her friends at the gym. my dad, my brothers and my sister- they just remain silent. i feel like her crisis is something that affects us all.
i don't know. i guess she has to conquer her monsters after all.
monster mom never really had to work in life. after marrying dad, she spent her life taking care of us. with the help of yayas. she never practiced her profession which was midwifery. now that we are all grown up and the financial situation of the family is really not that pleasing, she kinda makes us feel that the life she is living right now is something she did now dream of.
complains. whining. comparisons to the life of her friends at the gym. my dad, my brothers and my sister- they just remain silent. i feel like her crisis is something that affects us all.
i don't know. i guess she has to conquer her monsters after all.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
For Half of My Life
i am just so excited for the holidays! for half of my life, laging ganito and i really feel it all.
every year, this season never fails to taint the would-be simple days in other months of the year. madrama, makulay at masaya. sana nga ganito lagi.
for half of my life, i celebrate christmas alone. walang mga special someone na pagbibigyan ng regalong hindi mo lubos maisip kung magugustuhan ba niya o hindi. wala akong binibisita after ng mga misa sa simbahan and to make it more simple, wala akong tinextext or tinatawagan pouring my heart out to give them my merriest greetings.
for half of my life, i struggle to keep myself pacified to the unbelievable controlling and dominating ways of my mom coupled with principles in life and lifestyle bullshit.
for half of my life, i have always a special prayer during these times that is for the love of God, please do spare me from my pretentious acts of paying respect to relatives i do not care to see even for a decade or to the church service so early in the morning that i can hardly understand the sermon at all.
i would like to believe that a part of me has an autistic characteristic. i prefer to be alone most of the time at home. in my room or just walking around the garden. thinking. meditating. all of which, my sister cannot stand so she can't help herself but to disturb my inner peace. bakit pa ako makikipag-usap sa mga taong ayaw makinig sa suggestion ng iba? o di kaya ay tumanggap ng puna? futile. pointless at tiring.
ano ba ang logic sa pagpunta sa mga lugar na alam mong hindi ka komportable o kaya meeting other people na hindi mo naman gustong makita? dahil ba christmas? e pano pag di na pasko? kasi i feel this all the time.
malamig ba? oo naman. every year, i wallow in sheer loneliness after all the gifts were opened, friends and families reunited and kisses made to their love of their lives. so you can't blame me now kung mas gugustuhin ko pang magtrabaho during the holidays.
for half of my life, i celebrate alone. my parents have each other. my sister? her boyfriend. and my brothers? they are twins! it is indeed a struggle for me. most of the time, i feel awkward having to be in these times and places.
for half of my life, i have always wanted a warm christmas that is just full of love.
do all of these look happy? i could only imagine.
i just wish that the coming year would not be another additional year to the half of my life that is already full of blunt merrymaking and worth forgetting holidays.
every year, this season never fails to taint the would-be simple days in other months of the year. madrama, makulay at masaya. sana nga ganito lagi.
for half of my life, i celebrate christmas alone. walang mga special someone na pagbibigyan ng regalong hindi mo lubos maisip kung magugustuhan ba niya o hindi. wala akong binibisita after ng mga misa sa simbahan and to make it more simple, wala akong tinextext or tinatawagan pouring my heart out to give them my merriest greetings.
for half of my life, i struggle to keep myself pacified to the unbelievable controlling and dominating ways of my mom coupled with principles in life and lifestyle bullshit.
for half of my life, i have always a special prayer during these times that is for the love of God, please do spare me from my pretentious acts of paying respect to relatives i do not care to see even for a decade or to the church service so early in the morning that i can hardly understand the sermon at all.
i would like to believe that a part of me has an autistic characteristic. i prefer to be alone most of the time at home. in my room or just walking around the garden. thinking. meditating. all of which, my sister cannot stand so she can't help herself but to disturb my inner peace. bakit pa ako makikipag-usap sa mga taong ayaw makinig sa suggestion ng iba? o di kaya ay tumanggap ng puna? futile. pointless at tiring.
ano ba ang logic sa pagpunta sa mga lugar na alam mong hindi ka komportable o kaya meeting other people na hindi mo naman gustong makita? dahil ba christmas? e pano pag di na pasko? kasi i feel this all the time.
malamig ba? oo naman. every year, i wallow in sheer loneliness after all the gifts were opened, friends and families reunited and kisses made to their love of their lives. so you can't blame me now kung mas gugustuhin ko pang magtrabaho during the holidays.
for half of my life, i celebrate alone. my parents have each other. my sister? her boyfriend. and my brothers? they are twins! it is indeed a struggle for me. most of the time, i feel awkward having to be in these times and places.
for half of my life, i have always wanted a warm christmas that is just full of love.
do all of these look happy? i could only imagine.
i just wish that the coming year would not be another additional year to the half of my life that is already full of blunt merrymaking and worth forgetting holidays.
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