Transition

it's been a month and two weeks now since i left philippines to start a new life in the united kingdom.  it has been that long that i have not really blogged anything about my life in general.

i came here in cambridge in the middle of the winter season.  i thought the temperatures at mt. pulag were the coldest but i have never really been into a place with winter season so there, yeah, welcome to u.k.  i can still recall my last days in the philippines.  i was still going through my same routine- wake up late, surf the net, eat lunch, sleep, watch t.v., help in some chores, eat dinner, jog, take a bath, surf the net and sleep late.  that summed up my life.  but by january 20, it finally dawned on me that i will be leaving for another place to live and start working again.  it finally made sense to me the need to pack my life of 20+ years in a luggage limited to 30 kgs.  

looking back, i waited eagerly for january 22.  i have been waiting for it that somehow, i missed enjoying the things that i can back home.  seriously, i miss the sun.  i can count on my fingers that number of days when the sun shone brightly.  i miss the food- the flavor and the richness of taste that we have back home.  i find the food here bland but somehow, it tends to be on the healthier side.  i miss my friends.  i miss my family.

but then, there are a lot of things to be thankful for.  it begins with the opportunity to be here and that i get to work in one big reputable medical institution.  i get to live in a more comfortable life thinking just about my work and my schooling.  patients here are generally nicer and well, more patient.  in some areas of work itself, they tend to be lighter but the nurse-patient ratio is still something that i should get used to.  back home, i was used to work with five-six patients but here, it tends to double up to ten to 11 per one nurse.

for now, i am just gonna enjoy the things that i can.  learn everything that i can. and love everything that i can.

When Pulag Chose Me

at the start of the year, i decided to accomplish some things.

that includes being able to go to three new places.  by may, i was able to see four new places and it includes mt. pulag or as they say the "mountain of the gods."  

i do not earn a lot and to go to these places was a struggle that until now i am facing.  well, i exceeded my budget because of these:

yup, i have reached the highest peak in the island of luzon.  was i scared?  hell yeah!  i thought i was gonna die of fatigue yet we were still at the ranger station and have not started the actual trek yet.  we are not yet talking about the six-hour bus ride from manila to baguio and the four-hour ride from baguio to the jump off site.  

at the beginning, i told myself that i'll bring my things with me during the climb and that i will not hire a porter. but after a twenty-minute "walk" from the ranger station to the jump-off site, i definitely told myself that i badly needed a porter so i can truly enjoy the climb.

i was prepared to join other groups as i registered by myself with a travelling agency.  lo and behold, i met these workmates at the bus station and was totally surprised that we were on the same trip!  yay for friends!

did it rain?  totally.  slept with a wet and cold blanket as the moisture from the rain got inside of our tent. literally felt like a "basang sisiw."  i shivered and was tired from the trip but i was prepared for these things.

this is my prize for reaching the top and working my fat ass.  just beautiful.

in the past, i have told myself to never climb mountains.  i have fear of heights and honestly, i am not that physically fit.  i am lazy and i like eating double rice.  but after reaching the top and see the beauty of God's creation, i begin planning again my next climb.

of all climbs that i did in the past, this has to be the most challenging.  yet, it was also the most beautiful that i had.  i had to endure travelling with a 12-kilo bag that i thought i could manage to bring it with me at the top but realized early on that i could not.  i had to slip a number of times in the muddy paths and had to stop to breathe.  there were times that i could not feel my legs anymore and there were those times also that the cramps that i had made my eyes sweat.

however, i relished on every moment of the climb.  there were no regrets for sure as i  i felt the sacredness of the climb and of my intentions that i will keep to myself.  i never felt more human and more capable.  

thank you for choosing me pulag!

Lessons from a PM Shift

tonight i will be on a night shift followed by a rest day then a morning shift.  so yeah, my rest day will be spent on the bed sleeping. but no, i will go home and enjoy my day.  as i have written here, i will spend more time with my family in any way i can.

two days ago, we admitted a patient in our unit.  upon admission, her condition was not stable and so after just more than an hour, she died.  while doing post-mortem care, her daughter told me that she should not have left her mom in her last hour.  she told me her mother was afraid to die and that she never wanted to be left behind.

i did what i had to do and told her that her mere presence here is enough.  then silence.

you see, i sometimes dread going home because of some issues with my family- finances, relatives and anything under the sun.  but growing old, i believe that no one can replace them.

so yeah, spend time with your loved ones anytime you can and always keep in mind that our days our numbered.

Fun

okay, i was kidding.

i had to post now or it will take a lot of energy to fight off my laziness.  so yeah, i have been traveling here and there.  now let me show you where i went last april 26.  again, i was with people from work- new and old colleagues.  batangas was the place and it was the first time i had party under the sun.  one word: fun!

Coming Back

where do i start?

i could start with my trip to calaguas and how i got to meet new friends.  the beautiful island was not embarrassed to show its beauty.  my eyes could not stop staring at its beauty.  the sun was just highlighting the scenic shots that i had on my phone.  case in point, these:

 

 

these friends that i met treated me like their own.  got drunk with them and laughed so hard that i asked myself when was the last time i had so much fun like that .

i could also start with the unit outing to potipot island in zambales.  except for the food poisoning from indulging into too much food, it was a blast.  the laughters, the bonfire night and the trip to this island:

 

well i guess you have an idea now what kept me silent from this blog.  i still have to talk about my trip to batangas and pulag.  

this post will do for now.

My Captain

The past weeks, I have been listening to some podcasts.  As I run, I listen to preachings.  This picture reminded me of a podcast about faith as exemplified by Jesus calming the storm in a lake.  I took this photo after trekking the mountain nearby.  It looks so calm.  So serene.  But having experienced the boat ride going to the island, I knew it is not always this peaceful.  There will be waves.  There will be splashes of water.  It will hurt your eyes.  It will make you scared.

Remembering His goodness and faithfulness, I had peace.  I hope that as I go through life, I will have that peace.  As my Captain, I give You my life.  I entrust my future, my dreams, my hopes and my life.

Lord, You remind me of where I am, what I am, what I need to be and who You are!

Thank you Lord!

Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained

there are moments in your life when you have to decide on things even if they will put you in uncomfortable places.  there will be risks.  there will also be disappointments.  however, have you ever thought what if none of those risks will happen?  or those disappointments will never come to life? luckily, i decided that i have to go on with the things that i have planned.  even if i will have to go to a new place alone, again.  you know what, it is the best thing that has happened to me this year!

as i write this, i just got back this 2am from calaguas island in camarines norte after travelling for 2 hours by boat and another 8 hours by van.  the boat rides were one of the longest and wildest that i had in my entire life.  in addition, the travel by van has prevented me from sleeping since the roads leading to calaguas were literally like the intestines of a chicken.  hence, the name "bitukang manok."

but as they say, you really have to work hard to be able to achieve greater things in life.  as for the trip, it was all worth it.  here, take a look:

2-0-1-3

and now, for the highs of this year!

• boracay trip with benj, rina and gen- thanks to the generosity of my friends and aunts, i was able to visit this beautiful island.  

• lateral transfer to the coronary care unit- with five months and running at this special area, i got to learn a lot of things and of life in general.

• got the required band score for IELTS!
• new friends at cvu3- the closure of our original unit led to meeting new friends.
  
  
  
  
• telemetry outing- this was only possible because our unit was closed premanently.  still, good things happen out of sad circumstances.
  
  
  
  
  
• family- we are complete for the holidays! my sister is engaged, paulo is now working and we are just thankful to the Lord.
  
  
  
  

thank you, 2013!

Telemetry Forever

i just feel sad. today, my original unit has been formally closed for operation. even though i was transferred to the coronary care unit, it is just sad to know that your original home is not there anymore.

to this, i would like to thank my unit for accepting me. for being kind to me for the past one year and three months that we were together. i never had a code blue or an icu transfer. you have led me to the people that i needed the most both professionally and as a person. you gave me the kindest preceptor and introduced me to my Besties. i was given the lessons of patience, of time management, of self-denial, of knowing when to fight and of knowing when to believe in the beauty of life.

thank you, Telemetry. you have forever changed me...

Jaded No More

to begin with, i was jaded.

but then, my aunts, who have not stopped taking care of my worries. next, my sister, who has served as my "negotiator." then there's benj, yash and matet- all of them never stopped encouraging me and just being with me.

to end, life is not that bad at all.

Thank You!

Best

i mean, how can i leave them?

two months is too long to be away from my second family. i miss them already. . .

The Solution

this bag will solve my problematic diet. after beings stressed out from work and domestic issues, i got this rucksack. here comes poverty diet!

2012 Part 4

somethin' fishy. birthday. eat out. celebration!

2012 Part 3

work. karaoke nights. goodbye. welcome. preceptor. preceptee.

2012 Part 2

night outs. practicum for adult health. juniors. good old friends.

The Ninth Month

september went so fast. i hope these pictures would be enough to tell my stories...

practicum. birthday. inang's event. sleepovers.

thank you september!

Love

would you leave a man who has betrayed you for another woman? would you even care for him when he is a footstep away from death?

i do not know how to answer this but a woman told me her answer.

after taking care of him for some time, i could not understand it. his wife stood by him even after his unfaithfulness, lack of cooperation with the treatment and by just being a difficult patient.

but, why?

i guess, i have yet to love another person. in that way, i could reach that point where sacrificing is not a question or an option.

as i type this, i guess this is what He wants me to understand. that even if i fail or disappoint Him, He will never leave me.

this is love.

Champions

champions at last!

now, i have to champion school, work and my personal life! roar!

Understand

hi!

i would like to start the year by doing this: understanding other people. i believe much of my complains, discontent, loneliness and unhappiness can be solved by understanding other people.

in the process, i get to understand myself better. this year, i plan to achieve more, to be more positive and to be healthier. i only see possibilities and opportunities this year.

i did not wear great clothes or filled my pockets with money when 2011 bid goodbye and 2012 entered the scene. i was just there- silent and praying that God may lead me again through this year. that He may open my heart to His desires for my life. that my eyes see His wonderful plan for me. that He may direct my heart into understanding more the people around me. that He may touch my heart and be open to loving unconditionally.

Three Things

beginnings, closures and starting over.

these words perfectly describe my year.

i was about to begin a new life in libya when a revolution decided that it was not for me. i had a closure when i withdrew my papers and started again with my life at the office after retracting my resignation.

i was about to begin my nursing career at the bedside with my old company when my attempt was rejected. i searched for other hospitals until san culas came. now, i am starting over at the telemetry unit.

i have already said that i was praying to be back at the bedside by the first quarter of 2012 but even now, God has decided that i have to be at the bedside by December of 2011.

God is so merciful that even if i end up with a failure or a closure, there is always another beginning where i could start over again.

my faith tested and my endurance was showing its prowess. friends, families and enemies as well has given me the force to continue and to carry on with my life.

goodbye 2011. you have changed me forever.

welcome 2012. i welcome you with great hope knowing that with God, you will be a prosperous year for me and my family. and that you will prove to be better than 2011!