Same Love

"And I can't change

Even if I tried

Even if I wanted to

And I can't change

Even if I try

Even if I wanted to"

To Do

to do list:
1. not give a f**k
2. that is all

Ed

every september and october, changes always come. right now, i am currently waiting for a chance to work abroad. again.

yes, i am that fucked up in that i do not finish my contract and all. it is not that i do not want to finish it. it is just that my family's finances force me to do it. in truth, i really love my job now though it drains me of energy and motivation.

but yeah, i will cross the river when i get there. in the mean time, i'd bury my ears first with ed sheeran's voice.

Don't Wake Me Up

is it worth it?

i am trying to find reasons for continuing the journey....

in the mean time....

Ang Misteryo ng Kanta

classic na ang kantang ito sa bar sa ibaba ng building namen. mapababae o lalake, sabay sabay silang bibirit lalo na pagdating sa linya ng chorus na pataas ng pataas.

sa tatlong buwan na nag-ooperate ang bar, mainstay ang kantang ito. napansin ko, pati sa mga singing contests e paborito itong kantahin. kahit nga mga batang paslit na never pang nakaranas na mainlove.

ano bang meron sa kantang ito? e napakalungkot naman niya. tapos nakakapatid pa ng ugat sa leeg sa pag-abot ng nota.

siguro, merong kakaibang sensation kapag naabot mo yung nota. masarap siguro sa pakiramdam. o kaya, masarap lang talagang kantahin ang mga kantang pang-sawi sa pag-ibig.

di bale, bukas, itatry ko din siya.

Take Only What You Need From It

The memories fade
Like looking through a fogged mirror
Decision to decisions are made
And not bought,
But I thought this wouldn’t hurt a lot.
I guess not.

Control yourself
Take only what you need from it.
-Kids by MGMT

maybe i am intoxicated of MGMT's music but thing is, i felt that this song is trying to examine me like a frisky sophomore high school student in his botany class. cutting me in the middle to see through the depths of my humanity, i am now bare in the hands of nature and of fate.

the moment i was done with them, i was so sure that i will never miss them. now, i just hate it that i am fucking myself by being nostalgic of the things i did in the past. maybe, just maybe, doing nothing keeps you attracted to what was there before.

i need to listen more to the song.

I Feel It All

taunting will not help. neither asking or rationalizing. but the dream you had? it just captured feist's song. cheers charl!

Time for Miracles

i mailed them last march 11. today is march 16 and still, my documents are still in that fedex facility in cairo. yeah wtf?

sorry for being impatient but there is not a day that i am hoping that those forms were delivered already at nanay connie's house. ron is ready. kuya alex is waiting for redemption after the first forms were lost in the universe.

it makes me fearful that it might happen again. those forms who now hold the realization of my dream, being lost again in transit. not that i am really hateful of the egyptian system but damn, they are really not conscious of time.

well, what do you expect from them? working there for a year and exposed to their laziness was never enough for me to understand them. clearly, i am lost for the reason behind this event.

the questions has always remained, why is that this country is trying to hold my dreams? many times, i have felt the modern-day israelite contemplating about the exodus from that land. from the harsh working environment that had made me cold and soul-less to some extent about death and the bereaved loved ones to the mentality of eat or be eaten, that place is sure to have a place in my heart.

yet, i cannot removed those memories i had from my trip to alexandria, mt. sinai, luxor and sharm el sheikh. i have made friends with them as well. i was robbed there but i gained a lot. however, there are just some things that really won't work for me.

there is only one thing that is keeping me from my u.k. dream. now, i am praying for miracles like what moses did in egypt.

Too Much

i am beginning to think too much that i end up hurting my faith and my ego to the point of crumbling... what shall i do?

**************************************

Secrets
One Republic

I need another story
Something to get off my chest
My life gets kinda boring
Need something that I can confess
'Til all my sleeves are stained red

From all the truth that I've said
Come by it honestly I swear
Thought you saw me wink, no
I've been on the brink, so

Tell me what you want to hear
Something that will light those ears
Sick of all the insinceres
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

This time, don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

My God, amazing how we got this far
It's like we're chasing all those stars
Who's driving shiny big black cars
And everyday I see the news
All the problems that we could solve

And when a situation rises
Just write it into an album
Singing straight, too cold
I don't really like my flow, no, so

Tell me what you want to hear
Something that will light those ears
Sick of all the insinceres
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

This time, don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

Oh, got no reason, got not shame
Got no family I can blame
Just don't let me disappear
I'm 'a tell you everything

So tell me what you want to hear
Something that will light those ears
Sick of all the insinceres
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away

This time, don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

So tell me what you want to hear
Something that will light those ears
Sick of all the insinceres
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away

This time, don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away
All my secrets away, all my secrets away

It's a Wonderful World

don't you just hate it when people remember you if they need something? they can find a million of reasons to get on with you so you can do their favors.

classic.

how about not listening to something you offer as words of wisdom? at any other day, she would be begging for my advice but today, you are not just lucky charltoninho. she bangs on your face the rejection of your embarrassing advice.

liberating?

whatever.

i could not care much on these things. i have to. i chose to.

in believing that i can focus on turning myself into gold, i have to let go a lot of things. mostly negative in their electrical charge haha.

this song is what i am keeping my ears occupied at this moment. forget the users and the stubborn.

Avatar Make-up Tutorial

one of the reasons why avatar is such a hit! i had myself laughing really hard. enjoy!

Too Much To Handle

back in high school, may mga kaklase ako who imagined themselves to be diva. kumpleto yan- may celine dion, whitney houston, mariah carey, christina aguillera and britney spears. though questionable si britney spears, it was fun watching them interact. and when i say interact, it means laitan.

when calling each other, they use the name co-diva. sometimes, they would even engage into a show performing in front of the class.

naalala ko lang to kasi mariah carey just made my day. hindi ko alam kung sobrang saya lang niya na manalo at nawala siya sa sarili or sobrang lasing lang siya. here, watch the videos.



heto pa!



have a great day!

Happy

kung merong isang kantang maglalarawan ng nararamdaman ko at kung ano ang sitwasyon ko ngayon, ito na siguro yun:

Happy
by: Leona Lewis

Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose
You can't have everything
Don't you take chances
Might feel the pain
Don't you love in vain
Cause love won't set you free
I can't stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy
But safe as could be

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
Cause i'm just trying to be happy, yeah
Just wanna be happy, yeah

Holding on tightly
Just can't let it go
Just trying to play my role
Slowly disappear, ohh
But all these days, they feel like they're the same
Just different faces, different names
Get me out of here
I can't stand by your side, ohh no
And watch this life pass me by, pass me by

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
Cause i'm just trying to be happy, ohh, happy, ohh

So any turns that I can't see,
like I'm a stranger on this road
But don't say victim
Don't say anything

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me

I just wanna be happy
Ohh, yeah, happy, ohh, happy
I just wanna be, ohh
I just wanna be happy
Ohh, happy

and here's a nice video to accompany the lyrics.

Somewhere Only We Know

Lake House was good. But very unreal. The Holiday is way cooler for me. Kate Winslet is just so amazing. This has been the trend for late Sunday nights- watching DVDs with my sister as we gorge ourselves with love stories.

I was hoping for some reality in these movies that somehow in the future, I might be able to use. Yeah, if I will ever be in that situation because right now, I often wonder if there is a slight chance that I will experience some loving.

Call me pathetic but you know, I have noticed that my life is boring. It sucks I know. To this, I am waiting for something that will bring a lot of changes in my life. At a standstill, I hope to halt this rot and bring forth cool changes in me. You may think that this might be late but I really don't care. Having achieved what I have right now is no better reason for me to trade it with what I think might be a cooler path of life. There are a lot of things in my life right now that deserve more attention than seemingly fleeting feelings.

Rainy days might have caused this feeling and I simply hate it. I know the world is waiting for me to share my self but please give me time.

By the way, I was waiting for the song Somewhere Only We Know by Kean in the film (The Lake House) but I didn't hear it. Was it really part of the movie soundtrack? Guess I need to watch it again. In case you haven't heard of it, here:

Thank God!

Nagkausap na kami ng parents ko. Somehow, lumiwanag ang isip ko. Ang ganda lang ng pakiramdam kasi alam mo, hindi ka nila minamadali. Walang pressure. They fully support you because they also understand my situation.

Nagmessage nako sa Friendster niya mismo. I just hope he answers. Nanghihinayang din ako sa pinagsamahan namin.

Benj, Banjo, Lein and Poan, thank you so much for listening to me. You are truly precious in my life. Salamat talaga. Kaluguran da kayu.ú

I know God will not forsake me. Just lead me Lord to whatever plans You have. Use me to whatever purpose You desire for me.

Umaaraw Umuulan!

Ang sarap ulitin ng kantang to.

Sige matutulog na muna ako. Kahit papano, bumuti na rin yung nararamdaman ko. Sana bukas iba naman ang maging kinalabasan. Goodnight! Heto yung kanta, Umaaraw Umuulan ng Rivermaya. Bye!

What's In a Name?

Would you ever want to wake up and go to school even if you know you'll be bullied? Or let's say just doing your own thing but you know, people will laugh at you?

You know that the reason is within you. It defines you. Basically, it's you. Yes, it's you-your name.

Take this for example. There is a great volleyball player in Russia who goes by the name of Semen Poltavsky.



Yes! Believe me. It is really his name! Mind you, he is such a great volleyball player that no words can describe how he hits the ball.

He serves and spikes the ball like there's no tomorrow. Watch this:



Nevertheless, my team for the Gold medal in the coming Beijing Olympics is still BRAZIL.

With his abilities, his name doesn't really matter if it is that horrible. I am just wondering what his parents were thinking when he was born.

Makes me thank my parents for my name.