after working for straight 16 hours then another 8 hours for a night shift, i am finally on a rest day. actually, two rest days! technically, the first day was spent on sleeping and deciding whether to go home in the province or to wait for the unit to call me for work.
with a leap of faith, i went home only to be bothered by a text clarifying my schedule. i almost peed my pants when i did not know what to do for a minute or two. should i go home or not?
so here i am, being lazy again at the comfort of my "real" room in the province after satisfying my self from a nice breakfast with the family.
i wish i could do this everyday. however, this is not reality.
often, i sleep on the floor with my very old mattress in manila since the bed provided by the owner of the house cannot support my weight. in this way, my back is more stable and i get to move a lot around the floor.
then, there is this dust. and smoke. my room faces the road of which glorious vehicles honk mindlessly as i try to regain what was left of my humanity. few years ago, i gave up on sweeping and wiping the floor everyday since by late in the afternoon, the dust will then be there again.
i know it does not sound so healthy. and clean. but i love it and it has been my home for nearly three years now.
so when i come home in the province, i feel like a king. this and the dream of making it big as i indulge myself of pictures of everything beautiful and nice keep me going. even trying to live with a housemate who cannot properly dispose off her soiled sanitary napkin.
august marks the period where i can just count six months from my contract with current work then i am free to work overseas. it excites me and it makes me smile knowing that my hardship from living with a small salary is nearing its end. plus the not-so-clean room which ironically, i have come to love.
but then, my current lateral transfer to the intensive unit makes my heart divided. the thrill of learning and re-learning things make me appreciate more my profession but the desire to live in a more comfortable level seems to be irresistible.
whatever. i should be reminded again to live and think of the hear and now as ms. janice reminded me before.
at least, something exciting is happening.