Friday, December 27, 2013

Bullet Points

this year, i could only think of great things that has happened to me. while there were some lows, i choose to look at them as bullet points where lessons can be learned.

  • giving up on school- this just showed me how i can be disorganized and distracted from my priorities.  wasting a lot of time while forgetting my obligations from school.  not cool.
  • giving up on a relationship- i thought it was i needed only to find out i was not ready at all.
  • being robbed at knife point- things are just things.  life can never be replaced.  and one should shun all displays of riches and fine things in life.  especially if you are at the jeepney or just walking in a street.
  • binge eating- no explanation needed.
  • not saving enough money- i guess this was due to the fact that i was so impulsive with eating out and going out.  
  • little to no exercise- again, no explanation needed.
  • thinking that i deserve something- you will never be really happy if you always think that you deserve some things.  after all, life is not fair.  your expectations will only make you feel disappointed.  your thoughts will only make you sad and cynical.
  • not enough sleep- hours lost will never be recovered.
  • not taking care of the things that i have- my laptop needed a healing and then i lost five years worth of work, memories and reminders of how i lived before.  there are just some things that cannot be replaced. 
  • not taking time to plan my schedule- missed out three weddings of my friends.  no excuse for this.
  • not writing enough on this blog-  sorry, my bad.  i guess i have got to spend my time wisely.  not next year.  not tomorrow.  but today.
  • our unit closing permanently- the place where i first started to work is now closed permanently.  now, we are dispersed all over the hospital.  at least, we can get together without someone left at the unit.  it also meant a chance for me to work in the intensive unit.
  • not being honest with myself- too shy to say no to some people and too shy to say that i needed help. 
i guess i am learning.  and will still learn in the years to come.   for the next year, i just hope that i be more open- to people, to experiences, to emotions, to unplanned events, to difficult shifts, to unrealized dreams, to changes, to thoughts different from mine, to the reality and to myself.

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