malapit nakong magthree months working as a real nurse and all i can say is to hell with witch, putla and bulinggit!
haha. that felt really good. after ilang days of duty, you really need to let it out and feel that all emotions come and go. they are real and it is never too good to let them creep in the innermost part of your humanity. real sila pero just let them come and go.
somehow, i feel the truth na kapag nagtrabaho ka or nag-abroad, you will be changed in a tremendous way. bukod sa parang nagkawrinkles ako at naglose ng 10 kilos within two months, i felt na ibang tao ako each passing day.
before, i easily complain. mabilis akong maburyong sa mga simpleng bagay na minsan, ala namang kuwenta kung pagtutuunan ko ng pansin. mabilis din akong mastress and maapektuhan ng ibang tao.
i am not saying na hindi nako nagcocomplain ngayon nor hindi nako nai-istress at naapektuhan ng ibang tao pero, i now have this tendency to just ignore them. i always say bahala sila or bahala kayo basta ako buhay and nagtatrabaho.
mataas ang pressure sa work and if i will put myself in the same level, bibigay ako. that's the good thing now. little by little, i get the hang of it. nakukuha ko nang maging numb sa kung ano ang mga nangyayari saken. sometimes, maganda to pero minsan din, napapaisip ako kung nagiging soul-less ako at cold as a stone.
ang work namin, ganun pa rin. maraming asungot at maraming buwisit sa buhay. ganon naman ata sa work diba? eto, andito pa rin kami ni mark sa ccu and it seems na pinapabayaan na lang naming ung mga nangyayari samen. medyo nabawasan na yung yearning namin to leave ccu and go to the other side of the fence dahil sa totoo lang, hindi naman namin alam kung mas green ba ang pasture don kaya ngayon, ganito lang muna.
may ilang days na naghawak ako ng pasyenteng ventilated and mind you, mag-isa ako. kakatakot ba? well para samen, normal na lang kaso at the rate of these happenings, di ba mabilis? kasi kung sa pnas ako nagwork, malamang vital signs at pagbibigay lang ng gamot ang alam ko ngayon. sa totoo lang, madaming experience and learning sa area namin. sobrang varied and sobrang complicated. sobrang nakakapagod din and minsan, emotionally draining.
narealize ko rin kung gano kaikli ang buhay for the nth time. may pasyente akong ieendorse sa o.r mamaya namatay na pala siya. minsan sa duty mo, hawak mo siya, the next day, patay na pala siya. life is so fleeting. mabilis lang. dumadaaan lang talaga tayo dito sa mundo. kaya in as much effort to be the best nurse that i can be, kinakaya ko pero madalas hindi hehe.
ang tagal pala ng two years no? kasi two years akong dadanas ng hirap sa ccu hehe pero by God's grace e makakaya ko.
nga pala, nakapagpyramids nako kaya bawi naman ang pagod kaso di pa ko makapagupload kasi ala naman ako camera and kailangan ko pang kunin yun sa mga kasama ko sa trip. hay buhay parang life
2 comments:
it's good that things are going well with you. i tried it recently but as much as i wanted to stay for all the good things it could do to me, i realized i wasn't ready.
but i will be back to try again, more prepared to ignore the hardships. and hopefully, post an entry similar to this one. :)
i'm going to visit your blog once in a while. medyo nakaka-relate ako sa iba mong entries.
well we can all try...
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