wala pa ring update sa hinihintay ko and my mind is starting to think like a mentally-ill patient would do. natatakot. nangangamba. pano nga ba gagawin ko nito?
sa paglagi ko sa bahay, tumaba ako. after swimming for two straight weeks, mukhang mawawala ata lahat yung pinagpaguran ko. so kanina, i started to run. it felt like i am running away from my current situation. parang gusto ko lang makawala at wag munang isipin kung ano naghihintay saken. i felt relieved for that more or less one hour of physical activity. there was nothing on my mind but to run and work my ass off. same with the things that are scrambled on my room. andyan pa rin yung mga gamit sa manila. sobrang gulo lang ng room ko. a part in me says that i have to finish cleaning the room in preparation ko sa pag-alis sa sept. 18 but the other part tells me to be realistic. na baka hindi naman ako makasama so might as well put it off muna to free my mind from that nagging thought.
naisip ko, nagiging cycle na lang ang career ko. mababakante pagkatapos makakahanap ng trabaho. magtatrabaho nang saglit at aalis para makapagtrabaho sa mas magandang posisyon. mag-aapply at siyempre, laging magkakaroon ng aberya. can somebody just make my applications easier? sa totoo lang naiinis na ko. lagi na lang ganito. my family just want a simple life. comfortable. healthy. debt-free and worry-free. ganun lang naman. hindi na kami nangangarap ng magandang kotse. basta gumagana lang. enough finances to buy healthy foods, vitamins and supplements to my aging parents and some extra to have candy her well-deserved grooming.
tsaka na yung mga out-of-town trips at bakasyon. okay medyo bad vibes ako this monday. sorry. hindi maiwasan. bukas, dead na deadine na talaga. waahhhh!
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