blame it on my immaturity.
the lack of drive. the constant whining. the lack of conviction. then there's the absences.
it started last november. after a month of completing my 19 shifts, i started to feel the pressure. the emotional torture. the physical stress. the everyday psychological torture.
feeling the need to break out from all these, i had my first self-proclaimed off or more popularly known as absence from work.
it felt good but it felt bad as well. it is like you have wasted the other shifts that you have worked for. money? i do not really care for now. i just need to feel that i am alive and the way to do this is to escape.
immature? maybe. i just thought that at some point in our lives, we can be immature.