My Captain

The past weeks, I have been listening to some podcasts.  As I run, I listen to preachings.  This picture reminded me of a podcast about faith as exemplified by Jesus calming the storm in a lake.  I took this photo after trekking the mountain nearby.  It looks so calm.  So serene.  But having experienced the boat ride going to the island, I knew it is not always this peaceful.  There will be waves.  There will be splashes of water.  It will hurt your eyes.  It will make you scared.

Remembering His goodness and faithfulness, I had peace.  I hope that as I go through life, I will have that peace.  As my Captain, I give You my life.  I entrust my future, my dreams, my hopes and my life.

Lord, You remind me of where I am, what I am, what I need to be and who You are!

Thank you Lord!

Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained

there are moments in your life when you have to decide on things even if they will put you in uncomfortable places.  there will be risks.  there will also be disappointments.  however, have you ever thought what if none of those risks will happen?  or those disappointments will never come to life? luckily, i decided that i have to go on with the things that i have planned.  even if i will have to go to a new place alone, again.  you know what, it is the best thing that has happened to me this year!

as i write this, i just got back this 2am from calaguas island in camarines norte after travelling for 2 hours by boat and another 8 hours by van.  the boat rides were one of the longest and wildest that i had in my entire life.  in addition, the travel by van has prevented me from sleeping since the roads leading to calaguas were literally like the intestines of a chicken.  hence, the name "bitukang manok."

but as they say, you really have to work hard to be able to achieve greater things in life.  as for the trip, it was all worth it.  here, take a look:

Life List Update 2

1. learn how to swim 
• my instructor just gave up on me.  will find another one soon!  i will jog for now.
2. save
• struggling...  will double my efforts after my vacation leave...
3. travel to 3 new places
• two more to go!  will cross out another one as i will travel to a new one later today.   yay!
4. reach ideal body weight and maintain it thereafter
• done with my annual physical exam and it showed that my BMI is pre-obese.  but hey, i am doing something now.
5. be an expert in ecg reading
• uhmm, still struggling.  i need more time and devotion to it.
6. celebrate my birthday in a different country where i will live
• i have few more months for this...
7. sleep 7-8 hours/ day
• always!  yay!
8. write
• i am trying...
9. read 10 books (at least)

• i have read my third book for this year- the giver.
• more books to read.
10. be the person who i want to meet
11. meet my life partner
12. watch a concert
• will do in june!  yay!
  
13. whine no more
14. expect less
15. talk to friends regularly
16. smile a lot
17. go home with the family with every chance that i have
18. clean the room regularly
19. throw the thrash
20. practice yoga.  or just sun salutations at least

• thanks to simply yoga i can proudly say that my warrior pose is almost perfect hehe.

Seeing Beauty

after not blogging for the longest time, i just don't know how to blog. i mean, where and how do i start? it has been weeks since the last time i have posted here but hey, i will just start.

so this is me trying to blog again. after all, i told Ryan that he should be blogging again. it i just proper that i blog again as well.

work

i really wanted to leave my job and be somewhere else. the compensation and the possibilities that i can have in a different work make me salivate in excitement. but the thing is, i can only hope and pray that the process for its realization be completed in an instant. so i will wait. i will focus my efforts on the things that i can improve on myself. especially, knowledge and skills relating to work. i am trying to enjoy whatever i can.

and Ryan, thank you for the call. it was the call that started it.

health

for two weeks now, i have been jogging. in our lawn and in a nearby sports track. i run very slow but i enjoy the process while listening to a podcast. i always feel great and accomplished. i started doing yoga as well. though not perfect, i like the feeling of doing stretches. i still have to check on my diet though. for now, i believe this is one investment that i can and that i should make.  swimming will just resume in a few months.

relationships

no more besties? i do not know. one thing is for sure, i have made the effort to reach out and to be with them but to no avail. distance even just a few floors from where you work plus the crazy work load can kill friendship.

well, i have to consider that their love life is pretty much solid that i must take the back seat now. thanks to my other colleagues from my original unit, i can be with them. we jog and we eat together. what is more amazing is that we all desire to live in a healthy and positive way.

in a somewhat futuristic approach of seeing things, i enjoy going home to our province more than ever before. i believe that i will truly miss this if ever God allows me again to work overseas in the coming months (wishing, praying and hoping). somehow, we have reached a certain level of maturity that everyone is just accepting our differences.

my life may not be perfect but i see the beauty in it.

Update on the Life List

so for the first month, i read two books, been to a new place and to top it all, was able to reach the crater of mt. pinatubo.

honestly, i feel that i have not achieved a lot.  i am still lazy and out of focus.  i hope in time, things will change.  or probably, i should change.

Trekking the New Year

welcoming this new year by  achieving something great!

last saturday, i have conquered mt. pinatubo.  it was a two-hour trek from the base camp but to go from the base camp, a one-hour bumpy and dusty travel riding a 4x4 is needed.  but everything i have endured was all worth it with the pictures and the experience that i had.

so this year is all about setting goals, working on them and achieving them.  as i have mentioned from my last post, i will try to visit three new places this year.  this is place number one.

as with my experience for the early part of this year, it has been like my trek to pinatubo- challenging, bumpy but worthy.  codes blue and difficult shifts at work, applications and some personal issues, i believe i am getting somewhere so i might as well enjoy the trek.

to 2014, i know that you will be my best year to date!

2014 Life List

most of the items i listed during my birthday this year are still, well, on the list.  i might as well include them for my list for the new year.

1. learn how to swim (ongoing lessons, yay!)
2. save
3. travel to 3 new places
4. reach ideal body weight and maintain it thereafter
5. be an expert in ecg reading
6. celebrate my birthday in a different country where i will live
7. sleep 7-8 hours/ day
8. write
9. read 10 books (at least)
10. be the person who i want to meet
11. meet my life partner
12. watch a concert
13. whine no more
14. expect less
15. talk to friends regularly
16. smile a lot
17. go home with the family with every chance that i have
18. clean the room regularly
19. throw the thrash
20. practice yoga.  or just sun salutations at least

that's all.

2-0-1-3

and now, for the highs of this year!

• boracay trip with benj, rina and gen- thanks to the generosity of my friends and aunts, i was able to visit this beautiful island.  

• lateral transfer to the coronary care unit- with five months and running at this special area, i got to learn a lot of things and of life in general.

• got the required band score for IELTS!
• new friends at cvu3- the closure of our original unit led to meeting new friends.
  
  
  
  
• telemetry outing- this was only possible because our unit was closed premanently.  still, good things happen out of sad circumstances.
  
  
  
  
  
• family- we are complete for the holidays! my sister is engaged, paulo is now working and we are just thankful to the Lord.
  
  
  
  

thank you, 2013!

Bullet Points

this year, i could only think of great things that has happened to me. while there were some lows, i choose to look at them as bullet points where lessons can be learned.

• giving up on school- this just showed me how i can be disorganized and distracted from my priorities.  wasting a lot of time while forgetting my obligations from school.  not cool.
• giving up on a relationship- i thought it was i needed only to find out i was not ready at all.
• being robbed at knife point- things are just things.  life can never be replaced.  and one should shun all displays of riches and fine things in life.  especially if you are at the jeepney or just walking in a street.
• binge eating- no explanation needed.
• not saving enough money- i guess this was due to the fact that i was so impulsive with eating out and going out.  
• little to no exercise- again, no explanation needed.
• thinking that i deserve something- you will never be really happy if you always think that you deserve some things.  after all, life is not fair.  your expectations will only make you feel disappointed.  your thoughts will only make you sad and cynical.
• not enough sleep- hours lost will never be recovered.
• not taking care of the things that i have- my laptop needed a healing and then i lost five years worth of work, memories and reminders of how i lived before.  there are just some things that cannot be replaced. 
• not taking time to plan my schedule- missed out three weddings of my friends.  no excuse for this.
• not writing enough on this blog-  sorry, my bad.  i guess i have got to spend my time wisely.  not next year.  not tomorrow.  but today.
• our unit closing permanently- the place where i first started to work is now closed permanently.  now, we are dispersed all over the hospital.  at least, we can get together without someone left at the unit.  it also meant a chance for me to work in the intensive unit.
• not being honest with myself- too shy to say no to some people and too shy to say that i needed help. 

i guess i am learning.  and will still learn in the years to come.   for the next year, i just hope that i be more open- to people, to experiences, to emotions, to unplanned events, to difficult shifts, to unrealized dreams, to changes, to thoughts different from mine, to the reality and to myself.

80%

sa mga ipinasok ko na shift sa december, 80% toxic ako.

pacemaker insertion sa bedside na kailangan ng 18 times na x-ray. numerous arrest. cont. renal replacement. intubation. insertion ng central line. demanding na relatives. duty sa lahat ng christmas party.

i don't think magkakaroon pa ako ng energy para magsulat dito. idagdag pa ang pagsulit sa pagdating ni ate.

but, i am not complaining. this is just the story of my life for now.