Life List #1

It has been awhile since I made my last post. So many things happened to me that I cannot keep up a complete record of what I have been doing the past few weeks. I have realized a lot of things in which I am going to enumerate them now:

a.) Never watch a TV show in which it will only make you feel bad and make you look dumb. For example, don’t watch people nurturing the immaturity of their housemate.

b.) Give yourself a time to be alone. It will make you grow.

c.) It is never too late to start learning another language or learning something new.

d.) Drinking hot cups of tea can make you really feel better.

e.) It is never too much to smile.

f.) Never shop when you are excited.

g.) Don’t feel guilty for spending too much on books.

h.) It never hurts to read more.

i.) It is always nice to be in a new place meeting new people.

j.) Greeting people can never go wrong.

originally posted on friendster last december 28, 2007

All in a Day

Last Sunday was a day that I can never forget. It started pretty normal and happy but towards the night, it was shocking and unforgettable…

As I am writing this, the marks of that night are still with me. It is really difficult to open up since I have only told my close friends about what happened to me for fear of negative reactions my family would have. I hope that by reading this, they may understand me…

Weeks before, November 25 was a date that I have waited for. It was the thanksgiving day of Von and also the day Jen invited us to come over their place since she just got back from Guam. I was so excited at the beginning of the day knowing that it will be a fun-filled day. I was not disappointed actually. Coming first to the celebration of Von, I have met my friends. Just being with them was really memorable.

At around 4:30 pm, Abi and I decided to come over at Jen’s house since she was waiting for us. Arriving there, we really had a wonderful catching up with each other especially that so many changes had happened in our lives. Though, it was rainy, the comfort of being with your friend never loses its magic. Afterwards, we decided to go home.

Then, it happened. In a jeepney, I was still reading the text messages in my inbox while I was on my way home when suddenly, I felt people coming to me literally and pushing me. I was seated near the driver when we heard this screeching sound and our jeepney made a stop in the middle of the road. I did not know what happened. I just followed people as they took off from the jeepney while I tried to calm them down and not to panic. Little by little, I realized that an accident just happened. I saw people crying and I felt some pain on my thigh and on my head, particularly the occipital area. I was a bit dizzy so I had to leave the place…

I feared for my life for the very first time. I felt that I want to live my life more. As I took off from the jeepney, all I could say is please help me Lord! I was saying this over and over again. I saw a man lying on the street but I could not respond. I saw people becoming hysterical but I could not act right. In these moments, I somehow felt failure within me. I am a nurse but did I do anything?
My conscience would like to make a point within me. But then, being a nurse is not guarantee that you will always be ready to help. We are also humans. We get hurt, scared and afraid. There will always be a point in our lives that we will be the ones who will ask for help. Everyone is vulnerable to these situations...

Indeed, life is so short. We must always take every chance and turn it into something big. Always seize the day. Realizing all these things, I did not waste time in thanking all of my friends for coming into my life. I made a decision to be a better son and brother. I promised to myself that I would start anew. It really hit me big time and made me think otherwise of my daily life. So much for a fun-filled day.

Originally posted on friendster last november 26, 2007

Promise

I may be rushing things in my life. For weeks, I always end up being weary of my future, of my career. It is like I am so tired of waiting.

After so many months, I still don't have work. Patience, patience. I can still remember what Morgan Freeman said in the movie Evan Almighty that when you ask for patience from God, doesn't He give you opportunities to practice patience? Well, this is maybe the opportunity for me to practice my patience and eventually, I can become patient.

In the past, I always end up realizing that the time I waited for something, I learned a lot and the timing couldn't have been the best. Yes, God's timing is always perfect and I should be trusting Him.

This is it. This will be my last time that I will complain and whine about my situation. This is a promise to myself.

originally posted on friendster last november 18, 2007

The Misty Window

There is something about rainy days that makes me melancholic. It could be the color of the sky or the monotonous sounds of raindrops tumbling down from the sky. Whatever it is, it makes me ask myself, "How am I?"

I was watching Kyle by the whole afternoon and though embarrassing, I was not guilty of having to waste my time in front of the T.V. than read my book. Clearly, I have become addicted of that T.V. series. I may not be on my teenage years but I still feel like I am and watching Kyle XY didn't help me surpass my fixation for the kind of life teenagers have. Simply, I was missing the life that I had few years back. It is the life wherein you just have to go to school, meet friends and pass the exams. What made it worse is that the show featured the "typical" life that a teenager has which I considered very dissimilar of mine. I didn't have dates or parties attended. I didn't have a car (but this is so not a big deal for me) and I didn't have an adventurous lifestyle. Meaning, boring.

Since I was a schooler, I have dreamt of living the "life" of the American people or any foreigner that I think looks cool. The way their houses look like, their schools, their malls, their environment and everything that makes their world, I have always wished to be in their place. I have thought of this as my immaturity but I guess this is not the appropriate term right now. With all the blessings that I received and all the goodness of God that He showers me, it is just simply my blindness to the treasures that I have.

I have always lived by the cliché that everything happens for a reason. I know that the reasons for everything that had happened and for those that will happen will one by one unfold in God's time. I may not be able to grasp it immediately but I will never fail in trying to do so. The show made me realize that I can do more about my life. It may be different but I can do something to make it better. It may not be perfect but isn’t worse. My life is just simply mine, no shortcuts for happiness or formula for bliss. I may not be like Kyle with extraordinary abilities but I can be like him- a good son, brother, friend and a partner for every soul that will need my existence.

For sure, people have been right about envy or discontentment. It only leads you to demise. It poisons you and clogs the clear perception of what is truly notable and worthy. It is just like the raindrops on my window, making my view misty

originally posted on friendster last october 23, 2007

My September

"september is coming to an end but the memories and blessings that i had this month will forever be in my heart...."

in the past years, i never get excited when september comes. though it is my birthday month, i have come to a point that my birthday will always be a rainy one. i can still remember when i was seven years old... i never had that party for schoolers because my birthday was a stormy day. more proof? my 21st birthday last year was the day typhoon "milenyo" ravaged the philippines. nevertheless, it was not a sad day for me because my great friend sherwin prepared a small celebration for me even though it was raining hard and the wind was so fierce. this is reality for me...

it could be that christmas is fast approaching that i get excited when september comes but my birthday? it is just an ordinary one for me. but not this time....
this month started with a bang as i passed the licensure examniation for nurses. i also got a very decent grade that can help me find a very good hospital to work with. i also passed the ielts exam getting a grade above the required one. my dad got a job though the place is so damn far but still an upright work...to highlight all these blessings was my birthday... it was different. it was the birthday celebration that i always imagined having for myself. i celebrated it with a thanksgiving lunch with all the people who have witnessed my struggles and my success as a person. my classmates (and friends) from college (ann, christian, may, sherwin, tin, lein and neil) were there sharing with me one of the happiest moments of my life... my family and relatives also rejoicing for these blessings that i received...

as if it was not enough, my highschool friends also ended this month with such a very memorable and blissful day as we extended my birthday party. benj, von, rina, joan, fa, dondon, karen, richard and dennis were there to make sure that i will change my view of this month...

i have always kept my expectations for september in a very realistic manner in the past but things came as surprises for me. it is in these moments that i feel loved, cared, treasured and blessed by my family, relatives, friends, classmates and most especially, our Lord Almighty. i have learned a lot... i have changed hopefully for the better. september has really a lot of happy moments for me to cherish. now i feel that this is my month...my september.

originally posted on friendster last september 30, 2007

Mothers' Day or Monsters' Day?

i usually don't like the second week of may. mothers' day is definitely there and i just cant seem to find myself joining the craziness of the people. cakes, cards, greetings, heartwarming messages? ugh!

now before you judge me, let me introduce you to my mom. it's not i hate her but sometimes, she's becoming too much for us kids to handle her.

a. she talks alot! in a very loud and irritating voice! i mean can she just tell it in a nice way? it would be very pleasing for us to do whatever she asks if she speaks in a very calm voice.

b. she possess a room of negative words for each and everyone of us especially if we make mistakes. and if she on the other hand commits mistakes, she will not hear a single word from us. i mean, it will be okay for us this way but the things is, she makes it a point to connect her mistakes to us!

c. you always to return whatever favor she did for you. i mean the mere household chores of cooking, doing the laundry and ironing clothes, she will ask you a favor for doing those stuff! you see, that is her responsibility. have i told you she's my mom? why the need for us to return favors? we know that we owe her a lot for our lives but she does not need to tell it to us.

d. parents are supposed to make a livelihood for kids right? why then are we obliged to send our siblings to school? isn't that is their responsibility? my dad never lets us feel that way who by the way is our main breadwinner. but my mom? she always makes us feel that oh we really have to pay our dues for her for she did made our life easier... grr!

e. i don't think she has ever heard the word impulsive and dominant for she does not know that she is like that! she always takes things to her side alone with no consultation or whatsoever. she wants to be in control in everything and in anything.

mom, if by chance you ever read this, this is not meant to hurt you. i just want you to realize that sometimes or most of the times, we are hurt by your actions. we just want to be a happy family. your concept of being a mom and a parent is sometimes hurting us. forgive us you are hurt by these. we just dont know what to do with our relationship but still, we are your children. happy mothers'day.

PBB Teen Edition Season 2

i love watching PBB Teen Edition Season 2. well, not the whole show. i love some parts of it and some of the housemates. i consider this show as a breath of fresh air. i just love looking on the lives of these teenagers. i believe that there is a voyeur in everyone of us. it is for this reason that reality TV shows are such a hit nowadays.

can i just say that PBB is a reality TV show? this is intended for the people behind this show. there should be no manipulation of how the housemates will conduct their lives there. i mean, there should be no crappy set ups of some sorts of making the show run. i believe that the show should flow naturally. no hang ups and no creation of absurd situations that you think people will buy. the Filipino viewers are becoming more intelligent and please respect this by not making us stupid.

i say that this batch has so much appeal than before. about 60% are pleasing to the eyes. forgive me for this but i just dont like watching people who are not really pleasant to the eyes. this could mean on the physical side or the characteristics of a particular housemate. i will go to this specifically later...

i really don't like unfair setups in real life. who wants being treated unfairly? in this light, i just dont like the way KUYA/BIG BROTHER is treating some of the housemates...

now, we go to the housemates as i see them on TV...

ejay- i like his being torpe of courting valerie... he's industrious, unpretentious and simple. but that's just it for me. nothing really exciting.

nan- just for comic relief. i think he has to live up to his nickname to be felt in the house. also industrious but somehow quite silent.

jolas- my schoolmate. nevertheless, i will never vote for him. such a lazy teen! he dos not even want to hear criticisms. how can he be an athlete for that matter? he should do more and be more than just muscle.

kevin- i like his independence, transparency and honesty. his being a Spanish really shines with his decisions and principles in life. very dynamic with his personality. very determined in life.

josef- lazy, disrespectful and such a player! not a good example for the youth. it makes me regret my choice of studying at his school with his behavior.

alex- quite a good guy. nothing much about his personality.

linda- stubborn and insensitive.

nicole- quite lazy and really innocent. young and naive as well. needs to learn a lot from life inside the house.

jing- totally abhor her! such a disgrace to the show. there's nothing to like about her.

beauty- same with jing! backstabber and pretentious! conceited and flirt doublesided person! she thinks she's funny but hell no! i just hope she will not be able to return to the house lolz.

valerie- very independent, patient and always smiling. simple and very lovable! never complains.

rona- always misunderstood. i like her because she is not afraid of thinking aloud. she speaks what's on her mind and never discouraged of sad realities. she gets up and fights back to the challenges of life.

priscilla- i admire her. very positive in every aspect of her life. i am inspired by her courage to live her life normally even with the disability she has. very spirited young girl and intelligent as well. even if she kinda lives in a different world, she makes it easy for herself to live at peace with everyone and everything around her.

robi- my bet for the big winner. responsible, a true leader, intelligent, caring, fair, sensitive to the needs of others, very true to his self and a good example. i see myself in him though he knows how to have a good time and really blends well with people.

call me jologs or what but i like the show. in addition, there is a possibility that beauty will not be back and im excited about that. not that she got injured but the fact that i will not be seeing her face makes me jump for joy lolz. i love watching it. it makes me wanna go back to the not so distant years of my life and remember the good old days.

there are some things that i have not done like meeting more friends, going to parties and even having a girlfriend back in highschool. do i regret these? to a certain extent yes but to look from where i am now, i am happy and contented. i hope i can still have the time to do those things and enjoy life more. the show is about life per se. it has challenges, happiness, sadness and dissappointments. i don't need to be in that house to realize these but to show other perspectives about life, i will definitely live in that house from my TV...

On Waiting

Picture courtesy of:

http://www.geocities.com/fandango87/gallery/bored-ink.jpg

i am a registered nurse. by august, i will celebrate my first year of being a licensed nurse after passing the licensure examination. does it feel great? no it does not because come august, i will also celebrate my first year of being a jobless and unproductive citizen.

you see, i graduated at the top of my class. in every way, i feel that i am deserving to get a job as a nurse. i am not being conceited or too confident about myself but it is just that things for me really suck. i cannot find a job and what's worse is none of the hospitals i applied for gave a reply to my application.

nevertheless, i am not alone in this bitter plight. most of my batchmates have this same situation that i have. to make it more depressing, some of our batchmates who were happy-go-lucky students got in to the most prestigous hospitals of the country. how? by using the backer/palakasan/kakilala system. it is a system which utilizes the connection of a particular applicant to an employee/administrator in a hospital. it means easy application or even being hired.

it pains me to hear these stories. it makes me think about myself and ask if i am not worthy of being accepted even in just one hospital. the backer system is for people who are not confident of their credentials. they could not get in the right way because they know within themselves that they will not pass. at least for my own thoughts...

finishing college as an achievement? definitely not! it is only the start of a more difficult process. until when shall i wait?