Balikbayan Blues

what is it with "Balikbayans" that everybody thinks that they have sacks of dollars and that they are obliged to treat everybody back home?

yesterday, i have spoken with a friend who still works overseas. as expected, she told me that she deserves a treat from me and i asked her why since it is she who has still work and who will be the balikbayan come december. funny how this mentality of Filipinos persists in this time of crisis. it is no wonder that a lot of OFWS come home with some money and end up with no money. i really wish that it would change.

it is not about my cousin telling me that "Hindi ako mabiro kahit sa pang-inom lang." it is the thought that i did not work in other places just to have it spent on liquor or to cigarettes. i have been doing care for patients who are not able to. i give them baths. i clean them when they pass stool. i give them medications. oftentimes, i handle patients with communicable diseases. i am constantly exposed to such biological hazards that working sometimes is a danger for me.

i eat beyond mealtimes. my sleep pattern is crazy. sometimes, i am not able to sit even for just 30 minutes in the whole 12-hour shift. i spent my birthday, Christmas and New Year away from home and the comfort of my family. now, is it really okay for me to spend the little money i have earned for such reasons? have they not thought of the "balikbayans" tomorrow?

it is in this thought that i ask now for forgiveness to my special friends who are a little bit "nagtatampo" due to my silence of having arrived here. sorry my friends. i am still in the process of adjusting from "balikbayan" blues.