Intimacy Versus Isolation

"hindi ka tanga, mas ginagamit mo lang ang puso mo."
-lola ni persiveranda sa tv show ni ruffa mae quinto.

kung hindi ako tanga at kung hindi ko ginagamit ang puso ko, ano ako? napaisip ako sa linyang ito. i found the plot of the tv show very shallow but this line caught me unguarded.

i had to ask myself this question. at 24, so single since birth, i thought something is wrong with me. so are my friends. last friday, we had a great time chatting while sipping another dose of caffeine via starbucks. the mood was serious, inspiring and challenging. somehow, we drifted to the topic of being completely successful. us being great at careers but nothing when it comes to the love department.

then the thought of us becoming unsuccessful came as we stumbled upon erik erikson's psychosocial theory. at our age, we are already at the intimacy versus isolation stage. the main goal is here that we find intimacy through basically from work, relationships and family.

sa totoo lang, intimacy when you will first encounter it, is more intimacy sa relationships. ang intimacy through work or career e naisip lang ng mga tao na kagaya namin. may trabaho pero walang love life. ayon din sa theory, hindi ka normal kapag hindi mo nalampasan ang stage na ito kasi stagnant ka na dito. hindi ka magpoprogress sa next stage which is generativity versus stagnation. nakakatakot din. nakakakaba kasi some point in your life, you will realize that it is true.

all my life, i have been thinking about succeeding and in the end, i never felt the need to be loved by someone. so now, i am paying the price of not giving into it. moreso, not heading to the advice of erikson. but it is not too late right?