Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Kailangan Pa Bang I-memorize Yan?

i am gifted with a good memory. it has been helping me get through with my life both as a student and as a person.

i have done a lot with the help of my memory. memorize gazillion information and know everything i need to know. it may seem that having this memory is good but then again, it has its dark side.

last saturday, i had a hard time. all the preparations and the tasks of being a good host had gotten me bad of which my sister all the more exposed my insanity to the light. my mom agreed with her and that was basically the start of my bad days.

up to this moment, i don't talk to my sister. the incident that she exposed to light had made me think again of her as a foe. yeah it is bad i know but i never forget. i always become "historical" and not hysterical when i'm mad. to this, i have thought again of the times that she left me in the middle. of her not having her support me. of her wanting all of us to look at her and hear her stories. most of the time, i am quiet while she does most of the talking. i get annoyed most of the time when she talks about non-sense things like how monstrous Lani Misalucha's face have turned after she went all those cosmetic surgeries, like how rich Willie Revillame is and how irritating their HR personnel is.

my family has known me to be like this. i never forget. when they have said or done me bad, i don't talk to them. they have hurt me and that does not change a thing or two. call me proud and unforgiving but until you recognize your fault, i won't care about you. most of the time also, they succumb to losing this cold war and would start talk to me but all i would do is ignore them. this, is my act for the past two days.

it's wrong i know but you have to understand that i am hurting. i deserve some understanding that the whole saturday, i was working my ass off while the three of you my siblings could not even lend a hand because all of you are not in the house. think about the work that i had to do since jonah was not there as well. you could not even stay up late so you could help us pack up things and i find this quite amusing because all i wanted is that you help us and give me some break because you were having a lot of those.

it is eating me up. my memory has been loyal to me, even in my darkest side. i just need to get these off my mind. i hope it will be gone tomorrow.

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