Friday, September 24, 2010

Mata

my dad was persistent. he told me to talk to my cousin. said she wanted to give me some words. some warnings.

i was never really interested to hear her. she is my cousin and the idea of her knowing my inner thoughts or my future is freaky. besides, we were really not close.

but dad called me while i was busy with my report. it was weird because we never really talk about serious stuff. all the things that my cousin told him, he shared it with me. proud. perfectionist. that is how i am he said and from their observation, it is true that i am like that picture of a hard to please person.

i listened. never bothered to defend myself. it is out in the open. what more can i say? might as well give acceptance a chance. and from that sales talk, i finally obliged to communicate with my cousin.

the chat was uplifting. focusing on life's experiences. it was good. just good.

i will stop it from here. i have to hold on to my own beliefs and judgment. i hope my parents will do the same. she may see the future or the situation from a different side but i believe God controls everything.

He sees everything. He sees our financial troubles. my constant senseless thoughts regarding my career path. my insecurities. my inadequacies. His eyes are on me...

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