until when can i hold on to my conviction to stay patient and hopeful of a brighter tomorrow? nobody knows but one thing is for sure, all will come to pass. yes, even this seemingly eternal waiting and waiting.
for that, i shall hope that it will be sooner. i might run out of gas to fuel my race to winning this waiting game and God forbid that i backslide and be angry again for being too ignorant of the plans laid out for me.
image from here.
even nadal had to wait for that moment when his knees are well enough to run like a rabbit as marat safin described him before. it took several months to finally get his groove back and win his title in the last eleven months. he had to lose his number one world ranking and be ridiculed by a lot of people for playing like that. i mean, can you blame a person for giving always his best in every fight that he chooses to battle? how can people be cruel for criticizing him and mocking him with his injuries since he deserved it?
deep in my brain, i have people whispering with questions of why am i still in the house. there are also imaginary colleagues from egypt taunting my decision to leave early and be brave enough to face the other side of the world. criticizing me also for having to take this road towards realizing my dreams. it has been seven months now since i came home and until now, the realm of nursing seems to be far away. my friends, who are real by the way, always remind me to stop rushing and enjoy the moment. i hate to hassle you over and over again with the dilemma of having to be at the moment but i suck at this.
foolish it may be for packing my things but i have always hated having no time to prepare or being caught without plans. my life revolves around order, system and plans. so forgive me. but hey, nadal did not just stay home to get well. he had some work to do by remaining fit and relevant with tennis. he listened to his body. he had to consider the things that are really the most important. to his detractors he did not give a damn. so now, i am considering the things that are really the most important and i will not give a shit for people who are more impatient of my departure than my parents.
day by day, i struggle to listen to what is important for me and it turns out, it is i whom i have to battle out in my fight for being strong to hold on. in the same way, it was the knees of nadal whom he had to battle for his fight for fitness and consequently, for tennis supremacy. with those knees, now he is able to fight back and enter the third round of the rome masters by beating kohlschreiber. with the perception that i am also responsible for hanging on and being relevant with regards to my career, i know i can do what nadal is doing now: winning and biting trophies.
soon charl, you can bite your own trophy.