Friday, April 2, 2010

Not Mine But His

it was strange. finding the peace that the season should emanate, it was never easy. the family of course plus the lures of internet could not give me the much needed reflection. after all, so much has happened that they all need to be given careful thought of what to make about them.

the papers are still not here and by some magical forces, they were not sent last sunday and that, paved the way for them catching the lenten season. ems was to be the service, a much-feared one after the first falling out back there in egypt. i thought ron made sense of that.

painful. i never thought of seeing others in a place you are supposed to be there as well could elicit such sensation. it is real and not looking at it is just as painful as not taking decongestants with a heavy sinusitis. piercing the very core of your head. charlton, oh charlton, just take it in and know that someday, you will be there.

all are seem to be awaiting my arrival but alas, i still have to make sure i am coming. the good Lord sure knows what excitement is.

so there, while busy taking shit, i played the part of a good samaritan by updating a resume of a cousin, taking blood pressures and bugging my brothers to prepare for their internships. finished watching skins seasons one and two while trying to decide if i was more tony or sid. i did cooking as well and had to be off the radar for the acerbic being of my tongue.

i guess it was just timely for the message delivered this afternoon. light, simple and entertaining, i got it clearly. what i cannot remove in my mind is that there is one thing that i had to take in my heart: not my will but His.

taking it all for us, many underestimate the awesomeness of this event. what could be so amazing than this? Him, dying for me is just plain love. and i guess i have to love myself more by yielding to His directions.

again, i say not my will but His.

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