there are some memories that you wish to never come back. however, the brain was created by God to be that great that memories come and go.
the moment was spurred by being a nurse in the neighborhood. if i could just pick the good ones, i did it long before yesterday. but i just cannot do it so they came.
a lot would think that they happen only in movies or the typical filipino teleserye. but they are real. they happen in real life. the battered housewife and the always drunk husband? the beatings and the running just to escape their death from their abusive husbands? they are real. at least to what my young mind has tried to erase from those memories of childhood.
no, it was not in my family. my dad could not even try hard to dissuade my mom from pursuing something she really wanted. i am talking about former caretakers of our "kubo" back then. they were a couple. rolly was really a hard working person but the things is, alcohol owned him. josie on the other hand was a loving housewife but that love, was the drug that nearly killed her.
they were a perfect couple when it came to the requirements of their work but they were the worst couple together. rolly, when summoned by the spirits of alcohol, knew no one. he always had his bolo which automatically made josie run for her life. and in her escape from death, she went to our home, almost as good as being dead with her bruises and broken upper lip. for a child like me to see this, i could ask myself if this was love.
if he always hurt her, why did she always come back to him? it was not clear to me what love truly is but fear and insecurity made their presence felt. that continued for a little more months until one Christmas morning, josie was knocking at our doors. i did not know back then if those tears of her were of grief or of deliverance but rolly died. he died being attacked by a drunk man carrying a bolo. oh the ironies of life!
in an instant, i was relieved of the fact that rolly died, albeit on a Christmas day. my parents thought it was time to let go of josie hence the coming of the patient yesterday, as the new caretakers back then. i then made myself busy opening Christmas presents and counting aguinaldo. since then, josie and her bruised face was forgotten for good until the other day.
i wish to bury in the depths of the earth some painful memories. i never wanted to surrender to regret and pity but i would also like to remember some great memories.
i think i would like to go into a therapy. perhaps hypnosis will do good.