Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The Curse of the Free Spirit

now i have made a promise. that is to stop whining about a person in my workplace. but truth be told, the loathing has not yet stopped.

i may understand her demands from me. even if work is distributed unjustly and the dead wood keeps on earning more than us. but to present her usual self with other people? these people in whom she have asked favor? i think that is just too much of her self.

the question of why can't people just be nice remains to be unanswered. on my part, i have tried to be nice. to everyone actually. the effort is there and the intention. but when i am around that person, all efforts to be nice are erased.

i will admit once more that being a free spirit is hard. as my first year in this work is nearing, i feel that hands are all over my neck making it hard for me to breath. jon said that we are volatile. that something has to be new. that we are never confined to one place and one activity.

the only logical thing to do right now is to stay. at least for a few more months to where i am right now. it will make my CV a little bit better. i can pursue my masters degree. and eventually, transfer to the nursing division. of which, this will be my prayer for the coming days. all within the invisible salary. my ultimate goal will then be accomplished somehow.

if i go now, i will be free of the deadly wrath that foams out of her mouth. i can sleep well at home. i can run. i will be away from dead woods and people blinded by routines. that would be easy but my financial status and professional standing are in jeopardy.

unless i go back in egypt which mark is currently processing. or i wait until khadafi surrenders libya.

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