"masungit siya no? hayaan niyo na lang siya."
at this, he had my ears to listen. to heed for some direction. it was so true that i had to laugh about it. he really got me there. admittedly, i am "masungit." wish i knew why but there are those times that i really wanted to be not that way. it is hard but i hope i will learn.
two days ago was yet again, a day to remember. i could have broke down due to another unforeseeable event that could either give me further delay or worst, rejection to that dream job. calloused, it was a bit fortunate for me not to feel sheer dejection and hopelessness. really wanted to cry but tears were not there. the angst that i would like to exhale through shouts were not doable for me as i have become unattached to all these craziness.
"nag-away sila ng kapatid niya no? dahil dun, may nasabi yung kapatid niya na sana hindi siya makaalis. dapat, magpadasal siya. mag-offer ng kung ano. hindi rin yan nakakatulog. pressured siya. mas maganda rin na umalis muna siya sa bahay para maging fresh ang isip niya. sana mangyari din sa kanya yung dating tumatawag saken. nakaalis siya after 20 days. nadelay din yun dahil ung isang kaibigan niya, sinabihan siya na huwag din makaalis. alisin din muna niya yung laman ng maleta niya. kapag sigurado na yung lahat tsaka siya mag-ayos. basta, magdasal at magoffer siya. bawiin din sana ng kapatid niya yung sinabi niya."
all the more that i wanted to cry. but no. i gave a smile to jonah who relayed all these things to me. toughing up my act, i though of texting benj to offer some prayers for me. maybe quiapo or st clare. sister can also probably do the same as she frequents quaipo.
my fist reaction was to be that bitter and forlorn. i was thinking of hating Him as well but then, a voice told me not to. anyway, it would not help right? me being that despondent would not bring me to anywhere. piles of negative energy will only result and i thought that my current situation brings enough of those shiz.
if there is one thing that i have come to realize is that a change of ways is really necessary. hate, anger and manipulation will not do good. bullying will not as well. what's next then?