Saturday, May 29, 2010

Imaginary Tears

patiently, i traversed the streets of ermita. obscure and most of the time unfamiliar to me, i did not care. i have nothing to lose but i have everything to gain. it was fucking humid. still, i tried my best not to care. i was looking for that chance to work somewhere near the philippines. singapore would be really cool. once qualified there, i can be easily recognized in australia.

but as fate would have it, i was not for singapore. nam clearly told me that the human factor is and was missing from this small progressive country. i should have trusted my guts instead and escaped the humiliation i got from that agency. my eyes discerned that it is no good for me to offer myself to them. i did not want to think highly of myself but i know i can be better. and that i can offer so much to them. sadly, i was plain insignificant. at least for them i guess.

i could have told them something like this:

however, i knew better that i am a professional. so i left with their expectations of me coming back carrying that silly plastic envelope. it started to rain. that thought of pouring raindrops made me stop for a while. can this be an outpouring of blessings? this i have to find out.

i proceeded to navigate my way in makati in search for that one remaining candle of hope. qatar it is. great! arabs again. but who am i to be choosy at this point? the hospital is promising. well, who knows about the divine plan for me?

then i was torn whether or not to go to another agency. but the forces of nature and luck kinda blew it away. i could not get a cab and the jeepneys that might bring me near to my supposed-to-be destination were just nowhere to be found. sign maybe? we will see.

i could have experienced what crystal felt after losing to lee or what this mom did:

but not yet so let me wipe some tears in my imagination.

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