Thursday, February 4, 2010


the day was not good for me.

you see, i have detested the temper of my mom and honestly, i fear that i may have gotten that outbursts of her deadly wrath.

this is what i have been trying to achieve. yesterday, my sister and i were really not in good terms. i don't know if it was me or her attitude towards work and life in general.

i have gotten to where i am basically on my own efforts. independent, i have never really depended on anyone with the way i deal upon my schooling or life. maybe for direction but that was it with parents. well to some extent, my sister.

i am the opposite of my siblings. free-spirited, adventurous, somehow street-smart and did i say independent? at times, i believe that i am the most "gala" of my siblings.

my sister? emotional but thinks too much of things that have not yet happened or things that may not happen at all. time and time, i always tell her to just cross the river when she gets there.

she also would like to ask for the approval of other people. at 26, my mom is a "bit" paranoid of having her chaperoned whenever she meets her boyfriend. to this, i believe she has lived to this setup as when she goes to see prospective employers, i always tag along.

that would be okay provided she prepares well. i might be too harsh but i believe that she sees what i have been doing when i apply for job. i bring all my things and really prepare very well as if i am to embark on a war in iraq.

i did not bring to her the past issue of her not bringing all of the credentials when one day, i helped her go to the makati area to apply for work only to find out she was lacking in a lot of the requirements. that is history for me but she, having some reservations and hesitations had me at my nerves.

straightforward, i told her that what her problem is that she hesitates a lot. that she never took things into her heart thus the half-hearted efforts to achieve what she wants (if she really knew what she wanted).

i am sorry ate if i was downright cruel but you see, i will not be with you always. you have to make your move and take matters in your own hand.

most often than not, i see that you are afraid. afraid to commit mistakes and fail but those are just part of our journey. i too have experienced those though they may not seem visible in your eyes since i prefer to suffer and weep alone or with the comfort of my friends.

in truth, i just want you to be independent. not minding the futile ordeals of people's mouths that seemed to be connected straight to their rectum, just go on and have fun. do not be afraid for i have always proven that God is always able.

i wish you good luck and i hope that you soar overseas.

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