Saturday, February 13, 2010


i am lost for something worthy to write.

it is just that i am tired of trying to fight the dynamics in the family. it is such a powerful but negative force that suctions my creative and positive side. i just cannot do it here. i need to go away. i need to escape and to build my own world again.

it is just that i am tired of waiting. waiting for that one big dream, to work somewhere else other than the middle east. i believe that if i start working, i will live again. i mean, literally and figuratively. i am so restricted to just waking up each day fulfilling my physiologic needs. it is shallow. it is maddening.

it is just that i am depressed and i feel worthless again. but not the kind that i want to kill myself. i hate these moments. really. seriously. you see, i have grown tired of channeling positive thoughts to my mind to which i cannot see change.

oh good heaven, please do something...

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