Tuesday, March 23, 2010

In One Arena

yet another way to start my day- benj rousing me to pure displeasure.

for weeks, i have been following benj's journey to working overseas. pep talk was not enough so constant reaching out was made. you see, he is easily distracted and tends to forget himself most of the time. as a good friend that i would like myself to be, i always keep him on track.

after a malicious findings on his chest xray, i was waiting for his phone call to help him out with his next steps or probably possible options should this thing shut down on his face. instead, i got a text message asking us his classmates and friends to congratulate another classmate of ours (the one who took up medicine, yes, ang hambog kong kaklase) who graduated with honors. i can understand the pride but i was really worried about him since he sent me a message telling me that he needed my comforting voice so wtf?

that had made me decide to just let him do his own thing come saturday even if we were supposed to meet at the mall. so today, after feeling a bit okay, i sent him an offline message to ask about the progress and soon, we were chatting. again he decided to keep it short about his prospects abroad and i let him do it but to bring sherwin again? he must be kidding me.

telling sherwin that i am bound for u.k. and then commenting that he had no reaction to it, i felt my face flushed. in pure annoyance and exasperation. the reason why i am keeping these things to a select few is to prevent them from expecting and well, telling other people as well. i had to keep it low as this world is already filled with people who are not content on staying in one arena so they had to make the world their own stage.

benj knows every detail of my journey and i would like to do the same thing for him. to make my world the center of his attention is a thing i prevent from happening so every effort is made to reach out to him as well.

joking or not, i felt bad. all my struggles are not a joke. now, i am forced to downsize my world yet again. but not for long.

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